Parent Problems
I have a lot of trouble opening up to my mum about my eating disorder. I think she is part of the reason I don't enjoy eating because every time I eat something I enjoy - sometimes healthy, sometimes unhealthy - she makes me feel guilty for eating it. I also prefer to snack in my bedroom (i'm not sure why) and she always says I'm not allowed to eat in my room which makes me feel really insecure about my eating habits. I don't want to tell her about it because she gets so over involved in everything and I hate it. It just makes me even less keen to eat, and I'm trying really hard to get better by myself but she makes it really difficult. Does anyone else have trouble opening up to their parents about their eating disorder?
@indigosummer99
I'm very sorry that you have such problems with your mom, and these difficulties seems to make it hard for you.
I also have some problems opening up about it to my mom, and I think it's important to understand that it's not always easy to talk about a heavy matter like an eating disorder to our loved ones, but things can start to get better as you can find the right way and time for you to say that to your parents.
I hope it'll be okay
@indigosummer99 - I can definitely relate to the fact that it's not always easy to talk to parents about this stuff! But if things she is doing are making it harder, it might be worth having the hard conversation or even just letting her know a little bit like "hey mom, I know you mean well, but you make me feel really guilty about eating sometimes, even when it's something healthy and that's hard!" It might not change anything, or it might help her understand that what she's doing is hurtful and that she needs to adjust.
@indigosummer99
Summer, yes! I had that problem growing up and throughout my teen and young adult years. My folks were not very open with me, we never talked about my feelings, emotions were forbidden-apparently I wasn't supposed to have any. My mom had a problem with emotions, she was allowed to share everything with me and I was supposed to stick up for her against the world (although I now realize that most of the things she cried about were not people actually being abusive toward her, but mainly she simply thought everyone was doing things to keep her from achieving her own dreams) but I thought that was my purpose in life-to defend and provide for my mother. I think they call this enmeshment. But anyway, because I was her "person," she tried to discourage me from flying at any cost, so when I tried to diet or exercise simply to get a decent figure, let alone be attractive, she would encourage me to eat more, take me out to pizza, accuse me of depriving her of having any fun in her miserable life because I didn't eat a gob of junk food with her and generally toss a tantrum and accuse me of being a bad daughter or, "I suppose you want to lose weight so you can go out and find yourself a man!" as if that was a bad thing for a 20-year-old to want to do. She made me feel so guilty that I just gave up and gave in to her demand that I remain her personal attendant.
My hope is that you are able to convince your Mum to converse with you in an adult and encouraging way and that your are uplifted. Hugs. 💛
