Relapse

I've been doing pretty well since Jan well the end of Jan a week and a half ago I was in hospital because of a headache quite a bad one because of my family history they needed to check for bleeds in the brain and stuff one test included a lumbar puncture which meant for the last week and a half I've only managed to eat ready meals because the lumbar gives you headaches after when you sit and stand up so had to eat quick food [Edited by Erato 6/28/19 to remove specific mention of weight, please view the ED support subcom guidelines here] and now feeling really bad I feel the need to restrict and what I think I've just done is really weird I've asked someone who's important to me for affection but they haven't responded and tbh I think I knew they wouldn't and I think my eating disorder knew they wouldn't and that it's make me feel disgusting does anyone else do this? It's almost like self sabotage in a way I guess x