Scared of having an Ed again
Recently I've been self conscious about my body. I've had a year of full recovery. I didn't care about my body size, I eat normally, I try to ignore my mom's comments about my weight, etc., but as a result my weight increased on about [weight edited by 24Help1] kg!!
In my own opinion, my lifestyle is pretty healthy. I eat veggies and fruits, I eat brown rice, I swim 3 times a week. But my weight gain is so bad. [weight edited by 24Help1] kilograms, imagine that. And what's worse is that I notice that my thighs, arms and stomach are indeed getting bigger.
I don't want to suffer from anorexia and bulimia again like I used to. Last night I forced myself to throw up because I hate my body so much. What should I do?
@Hydrangea03 Some people say that recovery from an eating disorder is ongoing, some people feel they have overcome having an eating disorder....either way its extremely difficult to feel that you have won the battle.....did you get any help at all previously when you were recovering? Have you thought about speaking to a doctor or other professional to get some support for yourself at the moment? Perhaps calling a helpline specialising in supporting people recovering from eating disorders? When someone has suffered with an eating disorder they can find it distressing to find they have gained weight but the goal of recovery is to accept yourself, learning to accept your body and to feel happier with that, identifying and dealing with whatever issues caused you to have issues around eating, whilst maintaining a healthy eating pattern that no longer hurts you
@Hydrangea03 I think it is great that you are opening up and sharing your story and I think it shows that you are ready to change and get healthy for good. I can relate to you because I too have struggled with an eating disorder and being comfortable with myself. I think it might be smart to consult a doctor if you are really concerned about your health. You definitely don't want to get too thin again. I might also start talking to a close friend or family member about how you are feeling, so somebody close to you can be there to support you. Please feel free to message me and chat with me about this :)