TW: Will it ever get easier?

I’ve always been extremely tall(I’ve been 5’10” since middle school), and it’s caused me to be incredibly insecure of my body, and how much space I take up. When i try to think rationally I know i should have nothing to worry about, but it doesn’t matter. I developed eating disorder type behaviors around two maybe three years ago I believe. I would try to restrict all day at school, and then just eat the dinner my mom made. I would work 13 hour shifts and walk even on my break to move as much as i could. I finally opened up to my mom about my behaviors last fall, and decided to try and recover. At first i just kept binging on a daily basis, and then it fell back into restricting during the day and then binding each night. i would have periods where i was getting better, and then i would feel guilty and fall back into that same pattern. For the last like 2 months I really was doing better! I hadn’t even been thinking about how many calories anything was, or feeling bad about eating even around my best friend who also struggles with eating. Honestly she helps me, because i have to make sure she eats, which in turn makes me eat. Anyways- I was doing really well, and i’m really trying to stick to recovery, it just feels so hard. It doesn’t help that i work at a grocery store, where I see people checking labels constantly and i’m always worrying that they too struggle. I really want to stay in recovery, but part of me is so scared that i will never truly recover. It is sooo easy to slip into old habits, and what if it always stays like this? What if i can never truly move on?