empty inside
my ED i alwaysed kept silent well i was never fully diognoised but Ive been told by multiple people that its there when I try to come out and speak of it but I feel so embarrassed because I just feel overweight still so I feel like no one should care because Im still fat its been off and on for about years and now has came around again I didn't know 7 cups would have a community for ED but the point is I've been silent not with it for 2 years I just feel ugly and fat like why cant I fit in that and or why I look like her etc. I've never been comfortable in my body I will not eat or just do ice for at least weeks exercise excessively until I feel sick then start eating little by little then if I feel to big again I stop I don't know what to do I never could relate to anyone about it I feel like they might just call me fat and a attention seeker
how should in feel?
should I still stay silent?
@tryinglittleaudrey
I don’t think you should stay silent. I haven’t looked to see if 7cups has a forum dedicated to eating disorders. I think there are a lot of resources available if searched for in a browser. I do think peer support can be very helpful.
I was a fat kid growing up until adolescence, at which point, I started yo yo dieting, losing weight so fast that my skin sagged. I was an emotional eater, seeking comfort through consumption. Every time I gained the weight back, I’d end up heavier than I started. I’ve no doubt that over the years, I gained and lost over a ton.
About 15 years ago, I lost it and have kept it off ever since. I’m not sure any doctor would approve of how I did it, but all my lab tests are great, so my nutritional status must be fine. Actually, my current doctor says, “whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.”
Your thread title, “empty inside,” really resonates with me, as I often ate in an attempt to fill feelings of emptiness. It didn’t make sense, because the more I ate, the emptier I felt. While actually eating, it was a distraction from feeling empty, but the emptiness returned shortly after a meal.
One thing I figured out, when it comes to ANY habit, just discontinuing it leaves a void, a sense that something is missing or wrong. Therefore, an alternative action or activity is needed in order to counteract that feeling of being deprived. For example, when I quit smoking, I started cross country skiing. When I changed my eating habits, I started exercising, reading, meditating, interacting with forums such as this, and engaged in hobbies.
I believe the issue of weight can and usually is complicated by other emotional challenges. In fact, weight loss and other issues can feed off of each other, like eating because of stress, and the eating causing the stress. People often try using shame, guilt and negative self-talk to motivate them. The problem with that is that doing so programs the subconscious to do what’s necessary to reinforce the existence of emotional and even physical conditions that ensure failure.
Therefore, be kind to yourself. Embrace the reality that you’re a good person right now, even if nothing changes for you physically. Take inventory of all the times you’ve succeeded in having good days with regard to diet or actually any number of things. It’s hard to replicate successful days while allowing the mind to be dominated by attempts at shame motivation.
You are so, so much more than your weight issue. The weight itself can be instrumental in growing empathy and learning how to support others.
I’ve mentioned to others, the harder you fight a habit, the harder it fights to survive. It’s as though when you tell yourself you have to fight a habit desperately, you’re telling yourself the habit has an almost unbeatable staying power. I think it’s better to “turn away” from it, “stop feeding it,” than to assign it power that doesn’t really exist, and it’s something you must “fight.”
Yes, there are times when cravings seem overwhelming, but amazingly, there’s a lot of research that indicates that such cravings rarely last with that intensity for more than 20-30 minutes. For example, when I quit smoking and the craving came, I told myself that if I allow myself to feel it for 15-20 minutes, the craving would pass, and it did!
You’re very much not alone. I appreciate the courage you’ve shown by reaching out here.
I’m often around between ten pm and midnight, if you want to chat. We can also exchange messages if you’re interested.
Take care!
@Spiritriver
I would love too
thankyou for the feedback I really am grateful for it
@tryinglittleaudrey
Hey, thanks for sharing this. What you’re describing is And you’re not alone. Eating disorders are not just about being underweight —theyre about the mental pain behind the cycle and what you’re describing is very real
You don’t have to “look sick” to be struggling. You’re not being dramatic or attention seeking. You’re trying to be seen after years of silence and that’s really brave of u
Pls don’t stay silent just because others might not understand. U deserve support no matter your size. And you’re not ugly, youre hurting — there’s a difference
I’m really glad you’re here💙 we’re very happy to have you as part of our community😊
@starrySun5241
back to you 💖🥰
