help? idk
tw
so uhm i’ve been struggling with various kinds of eating problems over the last five years and i just don’t know i don’t really see it as a problem and idk
(tw bingeing and purging)
the last few weeks i got into binge and purging again and i’ve been doing it multiple times a day every day and i’m kind of scared cause i know it’s not healthy and i know it’s wrong but i don’t really care i don’t see it as a problem
and since i have no one supportive that i trust in my life i havnt told anyone about this
but the fact that nobody noticed anything so far makes me feel like “can’t be that bad right?” and i just idk i kind of don’t see a reason to stop cause idk it’s just all such a mess in my head
(tw:sh)
another problem is that with the bad eating habits some pretty intense sh urges go along and it’s like when i binge but can’t purge i feel like j have to sh when i feel like i have to sh i can binge and purge etc
its just all that weird twisted cycle
but i don’t know i don’t see it as a serious problem
sorry i know this is weird and just a mess
to anyone who reads this: you’re doing such a great job and i’m really proud of you < 3
@spencer1234567 The situation is absolutely not weird or a complete mess! I believe that the first step to overcoming self-harm and your eating disorder is actually accepting it. I want to also say that when I had an eating disorder, which followed a similar cycle, my parents did not notice. But I still look back and know that it was not healthy or right for me. The first step to really overcoming this is to actually accept that this is a problem. What emotions do you sense and what thoughts come to mind when you think of engaging in purging and in binging? Do you feel insecure about your body so you try to stop and then binge because you give up? What feelings and thoughts do you feel about yourself or something else in your life that makes you fall into the cycle?
I also want to say that you're doing awesome by coming for support on 7Cups. :)
@CelestialAurora
hi thanks for your support
i don’t know if this is a problem
well i think sometimes it is like my body and my weight and that food-related stuff that causes it but sometimes it’s just that i feel so empty and uncomfortable and lonely and then i think i can fix that feeing with eating then i can’t stop myself and then i feel so terrible about it that i have to get it all out again
but lately i’ve been purging no matter if it was a binge or not idk
my mother is abusive (emotionally) and another trigger was that my grandpa died on saturday and i just don’t feel anything and can’t realize it and everyone around me is grieving crying and screaming and i just don’t feel a thing
thanks again