just a rant about my body image I guess :/
so idk how to really vent.. I'll try my best tho
I'm not really diagnosed with any eating disorders, so forgive me if I used the wrong tag!!
I just want to stop.. idk, hating my body? I cant stop staring at myself in the mirror and focusing on the way I look. its to the point where I cant stop thinking about my body and calorie intake. I'll fast until dinner some days and then just sleep so I don't feel hungry and then whenever I'm around food I just eat and eat and I feel so guilty about myself after...
Im 14 so that might be why? I know I'm very hormonal at this age, but it doesn't feel normal to hate the way my body looks this much...
the issue is I don't really want to get better... I know its bad but I feel so bad whenever I weigh myself and I haven't lost anything and I feel so good when I have. my BMI is 32 which makes me overweight and it feels like it cant be that bad of a habit if in the long run I am losing weight. I know that's not a good way to think at all, but I just don't want to look at myself and cry anymore. I want to wear clothes I like without feeling ashamed of myself and I want to go out in public without feeling humiliated.
I want to stop getting confused for a boy. I want to be thin and I want people to call me pretty. I just want to be happy with the way I look. I just don't want to ruin every family photo I'm in by looking like a sumo wrestler compared to everyone else.
I'm okay with my torso, but my legs and arms are what I really hate. I just want to feel pretty and be pretty. I just feel so gross inside myself like I'm trapped in a big fat suit and it makes me want to cry.
if you read all this, thank you :) sorry a lot of it was rambling nonsense. any advice or support is appreciated!!
xoxo
@cammyleigh123
Well that sounded like a good rant.
You have ambitious goals to be a certain way and your thoughts are valid..
I would say go "easy," i'm sure your a great person..
Tv and social media mock us regularly entrancing us to be a certain way.. This isn't reality, I am proud of you for being so motivated to be the person you desire to be.
You be you and I hope you decide to enjoy life more, you deserve this.. one step at a time.......🌲
@AsherTree
thank you for your support and kind words :) <3
@cammyleigh123
Ok, Cammy. First of all, hey, I hear you. I tell you, I've been through the same thing. My BMI is exactly the same as yours, and I know it can be REALLY hard to look at yourself in the mirror. What you're describing is an overwhelming experience, and your gut feeling is correct in that your eating patterns are not healthy. If you'd like to explore it further, you can take this eating disorder screening test. https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/screening-tool/ Remember, this is not a diagnosis, just a tool to better understand your experience. A doctor or a therapist can give you a proper assessment, and you deserve that support.
Kind regards, Mary.
