poem i wrote

hi!! this is a poem I wrote very recently. I'm not the best but I feel like it says what I wanted it to say. I did the best I could putting my struggles into words. tw!!

a whale

beached, bloated

washed up on the shore

a seagull comes down

plucks flesh

pound by pound

from my bones

until I am nothing but a skeleton

thin, brittle

eyes large in their sockets

lips tight around my teeth

skin streched like canvas

paint over every tear

tears?

crying

mourning a body I never had

loathing the one that hangs from my frame

I'll fitting

like clothes 

I yearn to slip it off

reveal

the girl underneath

the girl

what girl?

am I doing this for a girl?

who?

a girl I have never met

a girl I never will still I bite the bait 

on the hook

piercing my mouth

punishing myself 

for eating

pulled up to the surface

I reach down my throat

cough up food?

mucus

saliva like slime

gagging, hacking

like a hagfish

anything to escape

the girl in the mirror

I pretend I do not see her

know her

restrict what feeds her 

fattens her

fuels her

and she begs

like a sailors dog

whining for scraps

she scratches the floor

pleading

begging

screaming

it hurts

it hurts and I 

kick her

hard 

boot connecting with her flesh

striking blood

red 

along the floor

red

I read

somewhere

everywhere

you are better when thinner

smaller, weaker

lower

down

down

down

drowning

numbers

lower them

smaller

be smaller

eat smaller

too much

I choke

water down my throat

how many calories in an ocean?

it wont stop

cant stop

never stops

I drown

my body washes up to shore

sun bakes my flesh

a whale.