quarantine and gaining TW!!!// Rant!!!!

This whole quartaine thing has sucked so much, Ive gained so much weight and I just feel like the more i eat the more im gaining. Ive decided to try going vegan to see if that would be a better and healthy way to try and drop the weight but every time i look in the mirror i just want to break down and cry because i worked so hard to recover and be happy with my body and the covid made me hate my body even more and i just feel likt the more i eat the fatter im getting. i jsut dont understand why i cant maintain. Is there something wrong with me. Anothe thing is i feel like im losing friends and i find it harder t make new ones. I jsut keep thinking like am i too fat and im annoying like what is so wrong with me that people hate me. Im nice to everyone but I jsut i dont know anymore. I jsut dont wanna eat that much any ore and go back to my old ways but i dont want to relapse. I jsut i dont know what to do about the whole food and weight gain thing.