Niece is still purging, need help
I just found my nieces bucket of vomit in the shower, so disappointed in her. We're been down this road where she hides her vomit somewhere, I find it, she gets defiant, and I let her mom know and nothing gets done. Repeat. I told her to show her mother and tell her what she is doing. But She tells me "It doesn't matter if I tell her--I'll just clean up my mess"
Only difference now is I have her phone this time and she is just the same only decides to go outside feeling sorry for herself and I'm guessing scratches her leg--hasn't cut herself yet. Either way I'm at the end of my rope and just want to give up on her--have her ruin her teeth maybe let nature do the work for me. Since she promises change, but doesn't follow through which is insane Bc this girl is amazingly smart and when she is given a task at school will be diligent to get it done. We've even allowed her to make her own healthy meals if she stopped. But I'm still hoping that maybe if I reach out for real advice from people who have a better understanding than I do can help.
@AnonymousBluesilver
Hey there.
I'm really happy to see you wanting to seek some extra support from our community.
Sounds like you're struggling with the situation at the moment, I'm sorry to hear you had to see a bucket of vomit that your Niece has left behind, I can truly understand why you'd be disappointed in her. Given the situation, it seems like you're genuinely concerned to the point where you feel helpless to deal with it yourself. Because I've personally had experiences with Eating disorder behaviors, I can clearly see plenty of reasons why she'd be defiant when you try to confront her, or bring up the topic. It's quite unfortunate to know that despite you telling her mother, nothing seems to be done.
hmm, scratching her leg? ... don't you think that's a way to self-harm? it sounds like your Niece might be struggling with something that she's having troubles to cope with the situation. I'm sorry to hear you're at the point where you feel like you can't do anything but give up, and hope that time would do it's trick, sometime when we don't know much about how to deal with such situations, it get's quite frustrating, and we tend to lose much of the hope we built up. Before you do decide to give up, I would suggest you keep doing what you're doing right now and educate yourself about Eating disorder behaviors if you aren't much aware of them, and how to help a loved one why may be struggling from it. The more you know, the better equipped youll be to help your loved one, avoid pitfalls, and cope with challenges.
I can not make assumptions about whether your Niece is struggling from an Eating disorder or not, since I'm not a medical professional, but have you considered reaching out to a professional from a little extra support, because it sounds like things are taking a downfall, and you're having a tough time dealing with it.
One more thing I'd like to add is it's important that we try avoiding judgments or criticism when it comes to talking to her about that subject matter, or trying to hear her out, don't you think? Since she genuinely could be struggling with so much more, and may find it hard to express that to family members..
I have done a little research for you, and would suggest you check these three links out they may help you:-
Helping Someone with an Eating Disorder
Family Involvement in Treatment
Eating Disorder Help for Parents and Family Members
I hope things get a bit more manageable for you, I know how hard it can be to see a family member silently struggle while you have no idea what you should do to help, but in my books the more we try to learn about the situation, the better we can handle it.
The fact that she feels guily means that she doesn't want to do it just as much as you don't want her too. It is a difficult subject and it starts with feeling guilty about food. All you can do is offer support and remind her that you just care for her. @AnonymousBluesilver