Death

@discreetPomegranate1970

 It sounds like you are struggling with the feeling that there is no hope. It's true, some people die due to complications of an ED. It may also be a contributing factor to a person's longevity, even if they die for some other reason.

I understand being scared, when overcoming an ED doesn't seem possible.

If to "get better" means to be completely free of an ED, it can be extremely hard to feel hope.

If to "get better" means to manage the symptoms, even if only a little bit better today than yesterday, or to gradually become more effective in managing them, despite a series of setbacks, there is reason for abundant hope to have a better quality and greater length of life. I suspect that most people who are dealing with the disorder, have this kind of outlook.

I believe along with therapy, it's extremely healthy to be part of a support group. In such a group, whether online or physically present, you are among people who understand how you're feeling. Ideas about how to manage symptoms, coming from regular people can be very helpful. Feeling connected to understanding others, makes life more tolerable and meaningful.

I'm old, just a few years away from death. It may or may not come sooner, due to my own history of having an ED. In my case, I was overweight from early childhood until my 50s. I yo-yo dieted throughout those years, inevitably gaining more weight with each cycle. About 15 years ago, I came upon the right emotional state and eating patterns, along with beginning to exercise regularly, and I lost over 100 pounds. I have gained none of it back. My BMI is 21.

The future of your ED doesn't have to be the same as its past. Even if it doesn't get all the way better, isn't some improvement better than none? In my experience, my sustainable changes occurred gradually, modifying habits little by little, so the body and mind didn't rebel against them.

Self acceptance, compassion and nurturing is a thousand percent more effective than trying to motivate change with shame or guilt.

Trying to self guilt into change is a mistake because such feelings tend to convince the subconscious that change isn't possible or deserved.

There is so much more of you than your ED. You deserve both self acceptance and acceptance of others. You have many reasons to feel good about yourself.

What would you say to someone who was very much like you, and also had an ED? It's important to treat yourself as well as you would treat others in your situation.

Please message me if you feel that it would be helpful to talk some more.