Don't know what group to put this in, but feel like this one makes the most sence
Trigger warning!
I’m not ok, like it’s been months since it got this bad and I honestly don’t know what to do, this week's been awful, I’m not ok. The past few days have been bad, I cleaned out my winter pants and most didn’t fit, I then went to get on the treadmill when my mum (she probably didn’t mean it the way I interpreted it, but it still hurt) and said that I needed to exercise more (I had been going on the treadmill) I was seriously considering trying not to eat until dinner (ended up eating more than I liked and felt really guilty about it) I almost caused myself to be sick because of it, I only stop last minute before the food could come up, but I really wish I didn’t, and I wasn’t fat. No one even question that I went on the treadmill twice today once for 15 minutes at multiple speeds and again for 30 minutes, I wanted to go longer, I even showed in cold water for a little while reading that it burned calories. WHAT THE *** IS WRONG WITH ME! Sure I’m fat, but I have no reason to stop eating, i also probably make it clear that I don’t have an ed or anything just struggled with sh the past year or so (not seriously, like never need treatment or anything)
@willingSugar9815 Hello and thank you for sharing! Eating can frequently be a way our brain projects our emotions. It sounds like you've been experiencing some anxiety about your self image and you tried to go from 0 to 100 with your diet. Unrealistic goals usually cause even more damage because of the extra pressure you put on yourself and you used food as a coping mechanism again and it was even worse. If you feel self concious, dear the first step is to accept that you don't like your current image and that you want to improve it. Set small and realistic goals and take it one step at a time. We all have been through a time of the year that nothing fitted. It can happen to anyone especially after a period of distress. It doesn't mean that it will always have to be like that. If you believe it you will do it. Baby steps and it will happen. A bit less of a portion each day, better quality of food and more activities that make you happy to avoid eating too much. You'll make it.
@willingSugar9815 those are sign of an eating disorder. It's exactly how it starts. How are things now? Any update?
@GhostlyLilian
Hey, sorry it’s been a while been busy with school.
Honestly, I wont say it’s better exactly, the past few days haven’t been good, today especially, for a few days i felt ok… i was eating more but felt bad about it. I’m starting to think it’s about to start again, another spiral.
@willingSugar9815 I've done this ***, it sucks so bad I'm really sorry. My mom makes comments all the time about how I could lose weight if I wanted to, it doesn't help at all. Just letting you know I hope your situation improves, I talk to a dietician and a therapist and it helps me feel better sometimes and get out of these obsessive thought cycles I have, idk if you have that too.