First time lazy bum
I always feel disgusted with my body anytime I look at myself, wake up, or after eating a lot. I always think I’m fine and I truly do feel fine until I start getting upset at myself for eating too much and getting fatter and fatter when I should have been on a cut. I workout a lot nearly 6 times a week and I’m very knowing of what I eat I know all the macros and calories and even micronutrients on some things but I just get so lazy and eat whatever all the time and it upsets me because I tried to bulk over the summer because I wanted to get bigger at that time I didn’t really care about how I looked the whole point was to gain weight and gain strength and I did for a while until mid August when I wanted to start slowing down on the eating and cutting down on fat again because just the year before I had cut down from 28 percent body fat to 16 in five months and I was proud about it now I can barely track my macros I try but I get lazy and I say to myself it’s gonna be fine and I will do it next week and it upsets me I get so upset at myself I take it out on others and then I just get sad and then I eat more because I’m not thinking about it and then I get bigger and fatter and I feel horrible every single day especially when I don’t go to the gym I feel disgusting I feel like I can’t even control myself but I know I can I don’t feel like I need help but maybe I do my lover cares about me so much and I feel so bad when I get upset about myself and she says you look perfect I feel like I’m disappointing her when I say bad things about myself but I’m disappointing myself but not changing and being a lazy bum
@neonBlackberry159
It seems to me (correct me if I'm wrong) that your problem is that you want to eat less and work out less at the gym, but you can't control it, so you end up eating even more and working out even more. Is the gym a place of joy for you, or just because you have to? If the latter, then it's more difficult. Maybe you could allow yourself to work out less. And then it would be much easier. You'd know you're doing enough, and you'd be less likely to compensate for the breakdown. What I mean is that you compensate for the anger from excessive exercise with food. This often happens if we need exercise for weight loss or as a discipline, and not just to stay in shape.
@Voodvins I love going to the gym it’s been my favorite place for the past two years and I think I’m just being lazy
@neonBlackberry159 So your laziness could be the factor that irritates you?
@Voodvins yes