Not sure what I have if anything at all
When I was 12 I had went a week without eating and without feeling hungry so they put me on meds to "bring back my appetite" it simply made me feel hunger again
Nowadays I can't barely eat a full meal, my meals are considerably small and I only eat a full meal once a day if even that.
Most of the time I survive off of snacks, I physically can't eat at full capacity as it makes me extremely nauseous, the one time that I did so that I wasn't being rude as a guest at a friends house I had immediately went to the bathroom and threw a majority of it up (mostly forced - so purging it intentionally)
But at the same time when I have sushi (a food I can't get enough of) or when my anxiety is really high I can gorge myself (tho with anxiety that usually ends in me throwing up) |anxiety at other times can make it so I physically can't eat because of how nauseous it makes me - like my stomach rapidly twisting into a huge knot|
I have been looked at over and over by doctors and one outwardly told me and my mother that it was just in my head.
So as someone who can't trust our health system here I'm asking anyone out there with similar issues as myself do we know what it is I may have?
Let me also just say I am not underweight by any means, pretty sure I'm actually over weight? I'm 5'4" and weigh around 200 lbs? (This has been going down sorta recently so probably just under or at)
@PhantomFaery
Where in your head is it? The frontal lobe? The cerbellum? The medulla oblongata?
I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or if you are dead serious
@PhantomFaery
I was mocking the doctors. It's such an insensitive thing to say to someone. That's literally my response to it. Where in my head is it? I'd like to know.
Do you have an idea of what you might be experiencing as far as eating disorders go?
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Oh lmfao, and no I'm absolutely lost on that topic I just know I don't eat like I used to and definitely don't eat like a "normal" person should 🤷♂️
@PhantomFaery
If anxiety is generally present, then it can point towards multiple eating disorders. But they all have their own criteria of symptoms. Some overlap.
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Yeah that's kinda be reason why I'm lost on where I stand ED wise, there's just too many traits that kinda soak into a majority of EDs, nothing that just sticks to one ED 🤷♂️😅
@PhantomFaery
Can we chat more in a pm?
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Of course 💞
@PhantomFaery
You'll have to pm me. I can't send messages to members.
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@PhantomFaery
Hi there!! (This may be long.. brace yourself 🤗)
I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this. I just want to say upfront that eating disorders are not weight disorders. It doesn’t matter if you’re 90 pounds or 900 .. you can be dealing with a serious ED at any weight.
But also, the stuff you're describing really does sound like disordered eating. I’m not a professional, so I can’t diagnose anything, but the behaviors you've described are all things that unfortunately stood out to me as unsustainable and problematic. You do not deserve this one bit.
You deserve to be taken seriously. It sucks when the people who are supposed to help you are the ones making it harder to get help. But I promise there are rofessionals out there who get it such as ED specialist. Even an anonymous online screening could be a low-pressure first step, just to get more clarity.
Also, from what you said, it sounds like your body probably isn’t getting the nutrients it needs consistently, and that’s something that can start affecting/ has been affecting you alot. That’s not your fault, but it something worth trying to get support for.
The purging is especially concerning, and my heart breaks hearing that this is your reality. These behaviors don’t have to be forever. It’s not too late turn this whole thing around, even though it can feel that way because you have been struggling for so long. :(
ou are so important, and thank you for sharing your story. My messages are always open for support and even just to talk more about this situation because I truly understand you. I am sending you so many hugs. <3
@PhantomFaery
That sounds incredibly frustrating, especially when you've tried to find answers and felt dismissed. It’s clear this is something that deeply affects your daily life, and it makes sense that you’re looking for others who might relate. Your experience with anxiety and food patterns seems really complex, and the way certain situations trigger different reactions is understandable.
Have you noticed anything that helps, even a little—whether it's specific foods, eating at certain times, or small adjustments? It might be helpful to explore ways that make meals more manageable for you. You're not alone in this, and your experience is valid. 💙