Struggling and doubtful in anorexia recovery (weight restoration)
After being discharged from hospitalization (1 week due to complications from malnutrition) about a week and a half ago, the dietician at the hospital gave my parents a plan and they're following the plate-by-plate method, so they have a calorie minimum (my mom said but honestly I'm not sure) but I'm not sure if they have an exact calorie amount or even an amount to meet or maximum and I'm so used to tracking my calories for every exact calorie. I'm not allowed to have choices or know my calories in my meals for now. I have to have 3 meals and 3 snacks per day, and I can tell based on what I know that they're giving me at LEAST 3,500-4-000 calories per day, probably more. I know they're following the dieticians plan, but I also feel like they're somehow doing something wrong or the dieticians plan is wrong or something, like they're just throwing a bunch of food and extra calories on a plate and severely underestimating how many calories everything is. I can't shake the distrust and the fear of gaining too much too fast and eating way too many calories. I also feel like my body is changing and getting fat wayyy too fast and it's only been like 2 weeks. I'm scared honestly. Is this normal? Can someone give reassurance or advice on how to cope, or that this IS normal in recovery and okay, and I'm not gonna spiral into being super fat?
I'm not an expert on this, but everything you say sounds like what anyone in your position would say and feel. If you're able to eat it, it will be good to nourish yourself. If your medical team got something wrong, it won't be permanent. They will be able to figure it out. But I hope you can talk about your concerns with a therapist.
With anxiety, I have much more experience. So I'd suggest trying to distract yourself as best you can, and soothe yourself with what helps you--hot baths, soft music, etc. I'm rooting for you!
