Struggling with under eating
Im supposed to be holding it together until I get to a place where I can comfortably go to treatment, and I'm not doing a great job of that. I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. I don't know how to fight that loud voice in my head that says "just stop eating you fat ***" even though I logically know my body looks different than I perceive it, I just can't shake it. I am addicted to the feeling of starving. It's hard to break something that's comforted you your whole life pretty much.
Although I am struggling, my therapist and friends are great supports, I just need to learn to use them. I'm used to doing everything on my own so this is a big step for me.
I hope I can keep it together until I can get the money for treatment together. As long as I'm honest and committed I'll be alright.
I am so proud that you continue to acknowledge your issue and attempt to receive support and treatment for it. So many with EDs do not like to acknowledge there problem, and this is an amazing step for you. I admire your courage and am hoping the best for you. This is a hard habit to break but I have faith that with the right treatment and support, you can do it! Best of luck on your journey and don't be afraid to reach out. I'm sure your post was relatable and helpful to more people than you know. You got this. Keep fighting for your life and know that your worth more than your body.