Thinking about recovery
I think I ruined my life by undereating.
All my relationships have been going downhill, because I'm always irritated and thinking about food. It feels good to "have control" over my body, but in reality, it's the food that has control over me... And in the end, when I look in the mirror I don't see a model. I see someone who looks homeless........
I feel bad, even morally for my eating disorders. I hate the fact that women feel pressured to look a certain way. A year ago I laughed at those stereotypes of what beauty is supposed to be, and now here I am, counting every single calorie.
Everything is telling me to recover, but... I wish someone would notice. I wish someone would just try and help me. It's like I don't want to get up, I want to be picked up.
@floorm hey. we cant push you to recovery, but we are here to help, anyway we can. its natural for you to feel a little...ashamed, perhaps, for undereating, but at the end of the day, there is more to you than how and what you eat, and maybe thats something to focus on instead of the usual counting of calories?
I know its a rocky road 🤍 but try not to blame yourself for having fallen into this. Recovery is a whole lot of steps, but its up to you how you go forward, and up to us to be there and try to help however we can 🤍
Yesterday I tried eating normally- no limits. I finally had energy to do anything and I felt absolutely amazing! I did some swimming and walking with no problems at all. It felt like I got my life back, for atleast a day 😭
Today was more rough tho :(
@floorm
if you're trying that's a step into recovery
your going in the right direction progress isn't a stright line you just noticing that there is a problem and that you need help well...thats another step forward i believe in you
continue your growth even when you dont feel like it or you feel like their isn't any
send love your way 🫂🫂❤️💕💞
@floorm im glad yesterday was good 🤍 Remember yesterday, its a day to work towards living again, in a way. Keep trying: one day, days like yesterday will be the norm fir you. Dont worry about the down days, youve got plenty of up days waiting for you to reach them 🤍🙌🏻
