anorexia?

i dont love food but i dont hate it.i dont want to just slap a label on and say i have anorexia but i need to look different, thinner. im wasnt underweight but also not overweight for my age group but i dont feel or look the way i think im suppose to.The love hate relationship i have with food is more towards eating it ,actually i love food but hate eating it because i know what it does if i eat too much with out control and i need to have control.

my mom doesn't help much she does struggle with food i know and anyone could tell by just looking at her and it makes me sad i cant help her. But also i cant explain it her obsession with weight loss isn't just for herself but for me too i think she feels i need it in some way and honestly i do too.i already dont really eat much but she bought stuff to help with weight loss not ozempic some other ***.We both use it i already lost 10kg and she did 21kg with that stuff too.i want to help her but i cant help myself even, i dont want to stop i like the feeling of watching the numbers drop and almost crave to lose more but not for her just for me to lose more