i hate feeling out of the ordinary.
ever since i was diagnosed with arfid at a young age, i’ve felt out of place. i’d see my friends and family enjoying going out to eat meanwhile i would have to mentally prepare myself to go to a restaurant and eat in front of people. most times i don’t eat a lot of what is being served and i either just get fries or get something and ask for everything on it off of it. i hate being asked “why don’t u eat?” “do u ever eat?” “do u like anything at all?” i also hate being told “one day ur tastebuds will change.” or “i used to be like u too until..” i hate going to the doctor not having an appetite for weeks and all they can say is “all the tests tell us ur fine, it’s probably ur period.” i hate having to force myself on medications i don’t truly want so i can prove myself to other people, i just hate everything about having arfid and how it affects me every single minute of everyday and how i can never run away from it.
@thoughtfulCoconut5705
😔💛
I'm genuinely sorry you are going through so much.
Hey @thoughtfulCoconut5705💜
Firstly, I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing this. Living with ARFID can feel incredibly isolating, especially when those around you don't full understand what it is like. It makes sense that you may feel out of place when others can enjoy food so easily, whilst you have to mentally prepare yourself just to sit in a restaurant. That takes so much strength, even if it doesn't seem like it from the outside.
Being asked those questions about why you don't eat or whether you like 'anything at all', can feel really invalidating. ARFID isn't a choice, and it isn't something you can grow out of. Hearing things like your tastebuds will change, or others say they used to be like you can make you feel unseen especially when your experience is so different and much more constant. You deserve understanding not assumptions.
I remember when I first started to explain to people about my struggles, I would often say the difference between a 'fussy eater' and 'ARFID' is that if my safe foods are not available I would not eat and instead become incredibly ill, whereas others may eat a food that they simple did not like. I've found especially with work colleagues, this has helped them realise just how significant this is for me and that it's not simply a 'choice' or that my tastebuds will change.
It also sounds incredibly frustrating to go to the doctor, and explain you haven't had an appetite for weeks only to be told that everything is fine. When you're struggling every single day, being dismissed can make you feel even more alone.
ARFID affects so many parts of daily life, and it's completely okay to feel tired of it. You're carrying something heavy, and you're doing it every minute of every day. Reaching out here, shows how much you are trying and you don't have to face this alone!💜
If you'd like to share more about what feels hardest right now, or about things that help make eating situations a little safer for you, you are more than welcome to discuss here in the forums or connect to a 1:1 listener for a private conversation.
We're here for you!
Emma