trigger warning; mentions starving
i feel like i can’t be consistent with the gym and diets. i do smoke a lot so i get the munchies, but i hate it because all i do lately is gain weight. all i do is stuff my face and feel fat instead of doing something about it. everyone say im built great bc im proportional, but at the same time, i feel like i can be skinnier. sometimes i just want to starve myself. but its hard. sometimes i can though. but ik thats not the right thing to do.
Our bodies (biologically) aren’t really built to be in a calorie deficit, especially when we’re working out and burning energy. Starving yourself might feel like a quick fix in the moment, but it usually just leads to feeling worse and doesn’t give lasting results. I am really proud of you for fighting this urge by the way, and acknowleding that it isn't the right thing to do. :) Big win on your behalf.
It honestly sounds like you might be putting too much pressure on yourself, maybe doing too much with the gym or being too strict with food? From what you’ve said, it sounds like you already have a great proportional build, so maybe easing up a bit and finding a more balanced routine could actually help more (eg. low-impact excersize for 30-45 mins and eat normally, but slightly more 'clean', far more sustainable).
You're definitely not alone, I know how hard the urge is to fight restrictive behaviors especially after any form of weight gain, or really just in general. Fighting that is almost like a full time job sometimes, and it can definately mess with other aspects of your life regarding consistency. Diets are tough, especially for those who have prolonged bad relationship with food/weight, and no one has it all figured out. Be gentle with yourself, because you are doing the best you can, and I know you'll figure this out 💕💖
My messages are always open, this issue is very close to my heart. (also, thanks for the TW!!)
thank you so much𥹠u honestly made me tear up. i will def take ur advice tho