Relapse Prevention & Relapse Support
Hi there,
I'm a listener who has struggled with an eating disorder for 12+ years along with other mental illnesses. I'm currently in my most recovered place to date thanks to all the difficult treatment I went through this past year. However, discharging from higher levels of care, decreased supervision, and the pressure to maintain progress are so incredibly challenging in their own right, so I wanted to create a thread where we can check in and seek support and encouragement because recovery is HARD and painful and also worth it.
So wherever you're at in your treatment/recovery journey, feel free to check in here with any of the following prompts.
1) One thing I did today to protect my recovery is...
2) One compassionate thing I can tell myself today after a lapse / behavior use is....
3) One thing I can do to get back on track today is....
4) One struggle I am having today is....
5) Protecting my recovery is important to me because...
6) Any check-in you'd like!
Please keep this thread honest and supportive, but respectful and minimally triggering by not discussing specific weights, calorie counts, etc in this public thread
I'll get us started:
One thing I did to protect my recovery today is eating breakfast this morning even though I wanted to restrict and stay in bed.
One compassionate thing I can tell myself about using a behavior last night is that I am going through big transitions and am under a lot of stress and it is understandable to experience a brief lapse in the midst of being overwhelmed--it does not erase my progress and I am getting back on track at the next possible time point which I would not have done before
Hope we can keep this going although it may turn into a thread of me just taking to myself 
Sending healing thoughts to you all!
@Shanna Hi, I am Juliette and I personally do not struggle with an ED but I am very interested in learning and supporting all sorts of things on 7 Cups. I wanted to tell you that what you are doing is very incredible and I hope this awesome thread does inspire change and helps many. Stay awesome! :)
@SparklingSnowflake15 Thank you Juliette! If you ever have any questions please feel free to reach out :)
One thing I did to protect my recovery today is...
eating dinner even though I am sick & wanted to use it as an excuse to restrict
(Just talking with myself here, do do do)
(Feel free to chime in with your own check-ins!)
One thing I can do today to stay on track is....
letting a friend come over for dinner to keep me accountable
@Shanna
You are just wonderful. Thank you ever so much.. I hope one day you realise how incredible you are. You're an absolute gift beyond measure and the people in your life are so lucky to know you.
One thing I did today to protect my recovery is... did some more reading. There is so much i do not know
2) One compassionate thing I can tell myself today after a lapse / behavior use is.... Allow your bad days, you are allowed to feel rubbish sometimes, that doesn't take away from your battle. It doesn't mean you have failed or are a fraud, we are overcoming an addiction . The addiction part isn't something that just disappears, it's something you learn to control and tame and the strength you've shown + continue to show in doing that is incredible and something you should be so proud of.
3) One thing I can do to get back on track today is.... rest for 30 min it helps me a lot.
4) One struggle I am having today is.... boring physics homework.
5) Protecting my recovery is important to me because... there are so many people that care for me + I one day want to tell them I am free
6) Reward for today... Donuts + cycle
@Blessedboy You are so special! Thank you! I'm really glad to see your update. I hope the reading has been helpful, and feel free to share any relapse prevention / related content here! You're so right that a lapse does not mean you failed or are a fraud--the progress you've made is yours to keep forever, regardless of what it follows it. You've worked so hard! I know so many people care about you and want to see you in recovery, me included. Good luck with the physics, and let me know how the donut is 
@Shanna
Please trust me when i say, this thread has been the most helpful reading in the whole of 7cup for me. Thanking you would not be enough Shanna
At the end of the day I ate a vanilla donut
@Blessedboy Yum! That sounds delicious!
I will be sure to keep the thread updated, and feel free to read or update any time
General Relapse Prevention Tips and Strategies
1) Make a relapse prevention stoplight describing signs that you are strong in recovery, beginning to struggle, and in need of higher levels of treatment--consider sharing this with your providers or members of your support team so that they can be on the look out for warning signs and be ready to support you. It can be as vague or as specific as you like! Below is an example of what it can look like
2) Celebrate your victories and your progress remember how far you have come, all of the challenging situations and emotions you have gotten through, and each small step you take in the direction of recovery. Eating disorders thrive in shame, judgement, fear, and anxiety--help flood out the disordered thoughts that have hung around by shining light on all that you have accomplished so far. You are fighting an incredibly hard battle and deserve every ounce of credit for the work you are doing, even when things are difficult or not going as well as you'd hope
3) Stay engaged and connected with supportive friends, family, peers, and treatment providers. Ask for help when you need it. Get validation and encouragement. Resist the urge to isolate and spiral back into old habits--you are loved, worthy, and deserving of support. We can't beat this alone!
4) Minimize triggers in your environment - avoid people who make comments about your weight, food, diets, exercise. Avoid friends or family who are actively engaging in eating disorder behaviors. Unfollow those diet and fitness accounts on social media! Refrain from watching any shows or movies that trivialize or romanticize eating disorders. Do what you need to do to protect your fragile baby bird of recovery, and try to surround yourself in positive, recovery-focused people and content whenever possible.
5) Maintain a dependable structure and routine in terms of socializing, working, hobbies, etc - structure will make it easier to stay on track with your meal plan / eating! Prepare meals and snacks the night before to reduce stress and take the pressure of decision making out of the moment. Plan ahead for long stretches of time where you may not be able to eat (make sure to bring a snack, have a snack before or after) - the more consistently and adequately you fuel your body throughtout the day, the quieter your urges will be making it less likely that you will act on them in a time of heightened emotion
6) Be honest about your struggles! Don't pretend that things are going better than they are. Don't spare your supports and your treatment team from the realities of your unhelpful thoughts, urges, and lapses. Eating disorders thrive in shame and secrecy - it's important to remain open about hard times in order to get support, validation, and to stop ourselves from sliding down a slippery slope of behavior use
@Shanna
thank you for this!! it means a lot, i needed that reminder today <3
One thing I did to protect my recovery today is...
I ate a healthy breakfest even tho I just wanted to lay in bed.
I'm also very proud of you and how far you've come. Sending love your way!
@Goldcherry2113
One thing I can do today to protect my recovery is...ordering dinner because I'm too tired to cook
Take-out is valid and convenient and our bodies do not know the difference! Food is food
I'm not really recovering right now, as I can't get any help other than a therapist who knows nothing about EDs. Problem is: the local ED centre said that "I wasn't skinny enough to have a problem". And that kinda gave my ED a even worse kickstart, so now I'm spiralling out of control, my voices (I have schizophrenia) telling me not to eat and work out to get skinny enough to be worth helping...
@EvilRegalsReadToo
I'm so sorry for your experience. It's completely normal at times to be in a place where you're not able to engage in recovery or don't even want to. I want to also say, though, that based on chats we've had in other threads I think for you it's a bit more nuanced than that--I think that you WANT to recover. I think that you want to recover quite a bit, but that you've received really shamefully ill-informed and harmful responses from your local treatment center which is 1) disappointing to hear and 2) understandably making your eating disorder turn up the volume like "ok you tried guess you're not sick after all!"
But I do believe your illness is valid. And your suffering is valid. And you are sick. And your weight is irrelevant. And you deserve just as much as anyone to get better. I did not believe my healthcare providers when they told me I have a severe eating disorder because I struggled in the same way -- I had been severely restricting and overexercising and had lost a significant amount of weight but was still "normal" weight. I struggled for years and years and years believing my situation was not a big deal, and it was, and it continues to be. Weight, size, and BMI are NOT the primary indicators of an eating disorder. I know that many of us know this, but it is hard to internalize when "professionals" are telling us otherwise.
There's a published paper that I won't link to here because it could be triggering and contains specific numbers, but it shows that patients with atypical anorexia (restrictive EDs that don't meet the old weight criteria in the DSM) were just as likely to experience all of the symptoms of medical instability as underweight patients and that they carried an EVEN GREATER psychological burden. Eating disorders can, and do, come in all shapes and sizes and all are equally deserving of care. Additionally, atypical/higher weight eating disorders are not just "less severe" forms of low weight eating disorders - they are real illnesses all on their own. You can be malnourished and not be underweight. You can lose your menstrual cycles from restriction and not be underweight. You can lose heart muscle, lung function, hair and not be underweight.
It isn't fair that some disordered bodies raise concern and others go unnoticed, and it isn't fair to have to fight for your treatment--but I hope that you will, and I hope that one day you won't have to and that the world will catch up with the science and the reality of eating disorders.
In the meantime, do what you can, whatever that means for you each day. Continue checking in--it's a powerful way to take up space and acknowledge your struggles. And if there's ever anything I can do for you to help find better treatment that is accessible for you or to help advocate for you and your care in any way please don't hesitate to let me know.
@Shanna I just feel like I'm faking it you know? When ppl tells me it isn't a problem, and then I just keep going. Stuff is getting worse right now. I'm working out more than I have ever done in my life. I just want to be skinny so badly, so I can be valid and get help. I'm just really scared that I will loose myself and my will to recover in the process...
I wish you could, but I live in Denmark. Healthy care isn't something you pay for, so they decide when you are sick enough to get help. I guess I will just have to live with it, get worse and then hopefully get help once I'm skinny and valid.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
I do understand. I have felt that way many times and I know it's so hard when even to yourself you have doubts that you're actually sick. I'm sorry you're so stuck in this--I know it isn't a replacement for treatment by any means, but you're welcome to message me for support if you'd ever like to. I'm not always available immediately, but I do try to always respond before the end of the day. Would it be a possibility to speak with a therapist online, at 7 Cups or otherwise, who does have knowledge of eating disorders? I know this may not be financially feasible, but thought I would throw it out there.
One thing I did today to protect my recovery is... took a short nap
2) One compassionate thing I can tell myself today after a lapse / behavior use is.... You have brought joy + laughter to so many peoples darkest of times, this is just a little reminder that you are worthy of light + the darkness you feel right now. Everyday you get through, every moment-grant them as victories it takes so much strength to weather the storm + you are so, so much stronger than you know
3) One thing I can do to get back on track today is.... talk with friends
4) One struggle I am having today is.... sleeping late
5) Protecting my recovery is important to me because... I deserve to be happy
6) Reward for today... football
@Blessedboy
Yes! Love that response to #2
Sending good thoughts to you today
@Shanna
The truth is your posts are the best. I learn so much! Thank you *100000000
1) One thing I did today to protect my recovery is...
I allowed myself to eat something
2) One compassionate thing I can tell myself today after a lapse / behavior use is....
I'm still proud of you, you've come so far and so much farther to go
3) One thing I can do to get back on track today is....
Eat lunch
4) One struggle I am having today is....
I just wanna sleep all day
5) Protecting my recovery is important to me because...
I'm starting to care for myself
@Goldcherry2113
I'm proud of you for letting yourself eat something today, and your body is so glad to have nourishment! It can feel daunting to look ahead to where you want to be, but I'm glad you're able to acknowledge all the progress you've already made! I hope lunch goes well for you if it ends up feeling manageable - you can do it!
@Goldcherry2113 I relapsed.
But I know I did coz I wanted to. I know how many days I didnt want to relapse..
But I know when to get strong.
I know when to get depressed
So I need to control these emotions
@Lena1224 I undertsand, I really do. You just gotta try for the best.
@Lena1224 I'm sorry you're struggling! Recovery is hard and dealing with a relapse is hard too. You are doing the best that you can. I'm sending lots of strength and support your way. If you're able, see if you can start to think of tough emotions not as things to control, but as messengers that are trying to get our attention--experiences that we can build tolerance to rather than avoid or numb away with eating disorder behaviors. Hang in there