Being too emotional?
Recently got into a argument with my mom and was very upset, decided to call my dad cause I felt like talking to him would cheer me up. I was wrong. When he picked I explained to him why I was upset but he told me to just get over it and I would be fine in the morning so there was no point in being sad. I absolutely love my dad but I just feel like I can never cry or express my feelings without him telling me I’m too emotional or to get over it. Every time I try to bring up to him the way he acts he kinda just brushes it off and changes the subject. I’ve always been told I’m too sensitive or no one can ever tell me anything without me getting upset. I’m tired of my feelings being invalidated.
Hello dearest ❤️
You know I can relate - I’ve learnt when others invalidate our feelings it stems more from their own pains and I actually empathise with them - I can only imagine the emotional turmoil and life events one has to go through to be ‘cold’ enough to invalidate our feelings - do you understand what I mean?
Having said that, no one should invalidate any part of you - and you are absolutely entitled to feeling whichever way you want to feel. I want to remind you that you have a community of millions strong around the world who can relate to you - who understand you - who would be there for you in a heartbeat. I for sure will be.
When you’re ready - it would be a great idea to bond with your father over something enjoyable and that’s when you can say “Dad you know you are my rock but sometimes I feel invalidated because I feel you don’t listen to me, is there something in your life that you want to talk about that’s hurting you, because I know you would never act this way with me, without a reason. I love you Dad!”
Sending love ❤️
You know also some people, especially older men, are not in touch with their own feelings or think expressing emotion is a weakness. It makes them feel uncomfortable to talk about feelings in general. It's how generations of men in this country and elsewhere have been raised. You may just need to accept that may never be able to handle your openness. So appreciate him for who he is and look for validation elsewhere. It will be better for you and better for your relationship with him. Maybe over time, you can gently teach him by example. Or maybe not. But the issue is his, not yours.
