Feeling stuck
New member… Long story short- I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my husband lately. Background- We’ve been married 7 years and have 3 children. I’m a stay at home mom and he works very long hours. By the time he gets home, we’re both totally drained. Lately, I’ve just been feeling like we’re not even married. It feels like I’m a single parent and co-parent with someone I hardly even like. We are not mentally, physically, or emotionally connected anymore. Couldn’t tell you the last time I heard “I love you.” Or the last time we kissed, NOT while having sex. I know that he is stressed by supporting our family of five on his own. I know that having been an essential worker has been dreadful for him. I also know that this family is suffering due to the disconnect happening here. Even his relationships with the kids suffer. They’re just miserable when he’s around… I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m honest about my feelings when things come up. In our 7 years of marriage, we’ve never had a single argument.
@humorousTiger1932
I know being a stay at home mom with three young children is a wonderful experience that can be exhausting. Stay at home moms are superheros. It also sounds like your husband is a superhero. Being an essential worker, I imagine his workload has increased significantly over the last year. You mentioned you feel comfortable talking about your feelings and that you have good communication with him, which is amazing. Open communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. With both of you working so hard, are you able to take a break? Maybe spend a weekend together, just the two of you? Or, if getting away for a few days isn't a possibility right now, are there things you can do together to take a time out in the evenings? Maybe a movie you both love? Laughing over all photos of you and your family? Maybe some shared daydreaming about adventures you'd like to have in the future? Even small gestures to remind yourselves you are still on the same team?
I will definitely try to plan a date night at home. We live hours away from our friends and family so having someone take the kids is nearly impossible! Which is probably a HUGE part of my day to day stress. I don’t think I mentioned, my youngest two are autistic and need much support through the day. Which I don’t mind at all, but I know it definitely adds to my load… Time to start planning!!