Going to a funeral
Trigger warning - death/ dying
Tomorrow I am going to pay my last respects to an older family member. I have some anxiety going into this weekend, because I witnessed this family member take their last breath. I have not fully dealt with that trauma and loss.
There is also some family drama surrounding final decisions made, preferences about the funeral service, medical care received in the final days, etc. So there is going to be some fricton between certain other relatives. I know that death can bring out the best and the worst in others. I guess I am just bracing myself for however it all goes down, as well as trying to be supportive of my mom, because this process of letting-go and saying goodbye has been especially difficult for her.
If you have any words of wisdom or quick/easy ways that I can try to calm myself when "im in the moment" this weekend, I would greatly appreciate it. I do have an incredibly supportive spouse... but it is not his family that we are dealing with, it's mine.
@BlueWaters48
I'm so sorry for your loss and for the difficult situation you are going through. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy, and it can be even more challenging when there are family issues and tensions involved. It's natural to feel anxious and stressed going into a situation like this.
One thing that can help when you are in the moment is to take deep breaths and focus on your breathing. This can help to calm your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment. You might also try some grounding exercises, such as focusing on your senses (what you can see, hear, feel, etc.) to help bring you into the present moment and stay connected with your surroundings.
It's also important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion that comes up for you. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.
Lastly, try to focus on the love and support you have around you, including your spouse and other supportive family members. You don't have to go through this alone. Lean on your support system and take care of yourself during this difficult time.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family well as you move forward through this process.
You're right that everyone handles this differently. It seems like you are aware of what may arise and that awareness is good to have in mind. I agree that breathing is a good way to center and stay calm in order to respond, if necessary, and not react. I think that focusing on your supporting your mom will help you stay in focus. We can't control what others do and it may be difficult as some of their reactions may be coming from their reaction to the loss. It is such a tender and difficult time. It is not easy and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. I will hope for everyone to feel peace and solace and to move through with grace.
@LavenderDaily thank you for your reply. I was able to focus on some tasks to help my mom, and it did help me to have tangible things to do, to keep my hands busy. I think I am just going to need more time to properly grieve and begin to move forward.
@BlueWaters48 Wishing you well as you take care of you and move forward...
Hi, im sorry to hear about your loss, I'm not sure what you are going through as right now but I can understand the anxiety you are witnessing as of right now too, in the past 3 years I've been to alot of funerals and they are not great and can bring alot of feelings from that, I send my best wishes and positive beams your way and hope the anxiety clears soon.
