Having different values on family than therapist
Hi,
I have struggled with managing my relationship to my toxic parents and have been seeing a new therapist who I overall really like and trust in most cases. For myself, I feel that just because someone is biologically related to you, that you shouldn't be obligated to endure an unhealthy relationship in your life. I have had more than one therapist that did not seem to respect this view and pushed me to engage with my parents in ways that I do not want to. I have not completely cut them off for practical reasons and may still interact with them in a minimal way at holidays, but I have felt that I definitely prefer to have a limited relationship with them and to focus on friends and community that are healthier for me. Today I felt that my therapist did not really respect that and assumed I eventually want to be closer to my mom, which is not necessarily how I feel right now.
Thanks,
Day
Hi, Day. I understand how you feel 100%. It really sucks when a therapist pushes their belief of a situation on you. I’m not a therapist, but I think you should surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and are putting as much work into a functioning relationship with you as you are them and this includes your parents.
@Treea Thank you. I really appreciate that. I have switched therapists a bunch of times and feel like my current one oveall is one of the best ones I've had recently, and I do think she is capable of understanding my feelings if I remain assertive and explain where I am coming from. She admitted that she is a mom herself and knows that that is affecting her.