How to deal with my strict Arab Muslim parents?
My parents are strict and obsessive of me and i don't know how to deal with them. They don't want me to go out anywhere without them, they don't want me to have friends and they never let me meet my friends outside of school. saddest part about my life is that I'm a 27 year old female. And i just recently realized that my life is not normal. The way my parents control my life is not normal. There are many incidents that shows that my parents are abusive and can hurt me if i disobey them. But there were three specific incidents that just broke it for me and made me realize that my parents are not "overprotective" they're actually crazy and they don't love me. I once told my mom that i went to the supermarket between my classes, the supermarket was outside of my college campus so i had to take a taxi. She was disappointed and angry and said to me "if you ever get assaulted by a man and you report it to the police then we (my mother and father) will disown you and throw you to the street" Another incident was when i told my father that if he ever tries to force me into marriage or if he tries to stop me from working or studying then I'll runaway from them. I applied for a job few weeks ago. He didn't like that i won't be wearing the face viel and that the job is not gender segregated. He was threatening me and said to me "you will see what i will do, you will regret your decision for applying to this job" I was frightened and didn't go to the job interview. I just don't feel safe in my home. And there are no laws that can protect me from my family. If i leave my parents house then my father can either report me to the police that i left the house without his permission or he could just find out where i am with the help of his "connections". If he reports me to the police then i would be considered as a runaway criminal. My bank account and phone number will be disabled. I will banned from traveling. And If the police catch me then i will be forcibly sent to my parents house, or i would be taken to a facility which is pretty much like a prison for women who don't have family or have been disowned or abused by their family. I feel lost. Sometimes i feel like it would be better to just end my life by myself peacefully. It's a better choice than giving up and letting my parents control my life. But then i remember that my father wishes for my death and i don't want to make his wish to come true. I just need an advice on how to deal with them. And is it wrong that I hate my parents?
(Edited by FM @CheeryMango for mention of gun violence)
Sorry I'm new to this app and I think i posted this in the wrong section
How can I delete this post?
Oh noooooo.... 😭😱 omg!!! Okay wait! Don't delete the post. It's okay!. Well.... first of all sorry to hear this! And me is dealing with strict Muslim parents too! Except that they aren't as strict. But believe me they love you, when they said this, they dont mean that they dont love you. It means that they feel as though you are their possession. Instead, you are Allah's possession! I know how you must be feeling dude. I feel so sorry about the job you lost, but tell me if you have tried to talk to your parents yet? They can't keep you closed and locked up forever. Well with me I'm struggling with something similar just because im 19 and its not smart if I go out and stuff yet. But eventually my parents will let me. Now you tell me... is there a way you can talk to your parents? For example if you say that you can bring a better name to society if you earn and you have a job? That the family seems more prestigious. You know what I mean? Because they are very cultural. And I pray in case they marry you off to someone that he has a very loving heart and can let you do work!! Ill pray for you I promise. Don't run away from home, do what you love and talk to them again. Try to make them realise that culture isn't as important as well as impressing people, that you are their daughter, and that you know that they love you! Say j love you to your parents. Let them know how grateful you are, although they are not being the best parents right now. Allah always has a better plan for us! And I will pray for you and I hope you will meet someone loving. Make sure that before you marry, you get to know that person. If he isn't!!!good... you should leave your family, if they keep insisting. Its no sin to you, no sin to leave parents because of forced marriage! Your parents dont mean it. My parents said something similar too. Perhaps they mean it, but as long as you do what is right and in the boundaries... of right... dont fear! They won't k*ll you, no one can k*ll their kid. It's impossible, it's a threat and again im going through the exact same. Depends on what country those places are not always prisons. I feel if that happens, you should try to find a husband yourself, not as in a relationship but islamically. A man who will be there for you or remain a maid for some time and earn money. But im saying marry, in case your parents do find you, then your man would protect you. So make sure he is a good man. Then your parents won't be able to do anything because that goes against culture. If his family loves you, then there will be no shame to your family at all! You go girl. Remember to follow your heart. Listen to what your heart is telling you! Allah will always love you no matter what! And your parents love you A LOOTT believe me... they are just tryna scare you! You leaving them would hurt them thats why! .... u can reply if u want ❤