How to deal with toxic family members

Common traits of toxic people include:

• Not showing concern for your feelings, needs, or rights
• Acting harsh and critical
• Calling you names
• Violating your boundaries over and over
• Refusing to compromise with you on anything
• Acting entitled
• Always having to be right
• Feeling the rules don’t apply to them
• Making unfair demands on you
• Not taking responsibility for their actions
• Blaming others for their mistakes or flaws
• Rarely saying they’re sorry for something
• Wild mood and behavior swings, and sessions of rage
• Lying and/or guilting you to get their way
• Manipulating you to get to control or take advantage of you and others to get what they want.
  

Here's how to deal with them;

• Set clear boundaries
• Keep your distance
• Don’t expect anyone to be perfect, including yourself.
• Stop trying to fight old battles. There’s usually no way to resolve them.
• Stand your ground. For example, if your family expects you to show up for a holiday and you want out, say “no.” Don’t leave the door ajar with a “maybe.”
• Let go of your wishes for family members’ lives. You can’t make them change their minds or alter their plans.
• Once you resolve to change your own behavior, brace for strong reactions from family members and even friends. Try to predict what responses you might get -- such as crying, guilt, shouting, or even threats -- and decide how you’ll respond.

Source; https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/handle-toxic-family