Husband affair, what does father in law mean

Hi Everyone, NBR, Super long post (trigger warning separation) I haven’t been as active as I used to be on here lately. I don’t know if anyone remembers but just over a year ago I posted my husband had an affair for a year and that we were trying to work it out. Well fast forward until five weeks ago everything was well. I won’t say perfect. It wasn’t perfect I did struggle with trusting him as they work together. I did struggle if he had feelings for her. I also struggled believing they had no communication.I also struggled at times with the hurt from the betrayal. However it wasn’t constant. We never argued about it. We were going on dates all the time. To me we were happy. Then he told me they had been in contact just through text during working hours but his feelings had come back and he didn’t know if he wanted her or me. We talked about it, we went away for the weekend. While we were away one morning I got out the bath and he said ‘I’ve wrote a message in note to her ending it but I want you to read it first’ The message said he loved me and the children. He wanted to be with me. He didn’t think they could ever work and that he thought she would agree with that. Later that day he told me he felt so much better. He felt like a weight had been lifted and he was so happy. He said he was 100% sure he’d made the right choice and that he would spend our lives together making it better. Again two actually blissful weeks went past. He was really loving, touchy feely, clingy, wanted to be around me. Then he started acting different. He told me it was in my head every time I confronted him. Then on Tuesday we took our oldest two kids to Thorpe Park. He was so odd. Didn’t want to be near me, always kept the kids as a barrier. We got home and he told me he was leaving. He needed to go to his dads and sort his head out because he didn’t know what he wanted. Told me she had text him two weeks after he ended it with her again saying she believed they could work and they should try. He told me he’s been in a battle for two years with his feelings for her. He hasn’t been happy for those two years. He just kept pushing the feelings away. Burying his head in the sand and telling himself things will get better. He told me he has such strong feelings and love for her and they aren’t going anywhere. And that he doesn’t want them to go anywhere. He has told me he isn’t confused. She is what he wants and he doesn’t want to get over her. Then he’ll say ‘but I don’t know how I’ll feel in a weeks time, I don’t think anything will have changed at all but I don’t know’ I’ve been begging him to come back. Telling him we can work. Then yesterday father in law called and said can I come over so I went. He said he wants to get us back together. And he was going to give him a strong talking to. Husband phoned me and I said I’d gone to see his dad. He got angry and said he feels like he is prisoned and being forced to go home. I said that wasn’t the case at all. He went to talk to his dad. His dad text me later and said they’ve had a long conversation. His dad asked if he could come and see me at 10.30 which kind of left me in limbo thinking why is he wanting to come and see me. Husband then text me and said ‘I actually hate my life right now. I’m Sorry I’ve hurt you. You’ve never deserved any of this but I don’t think I can ever escape the thoughts of feeling trapped. My mind seems completely ***. I feel drained so much. I’m hurting so much I’m in a rage whenever I think about it all. I get so angry. I love the kids, I never want to hurt them’ I asked why he felt trapped. He replied. ‘I’m trapped because all I keep hearing is think of the kids, think of how this will hurt the kids. It’s so much to throw away. But my feelings/ love for her has me completely torn. I know that’s *** for you to read that but it’s true. You deserve to be happy but I’m not able to give you that. I’ll just keep hurting you. I’m a *** I know. I am sorry because it’s not okay’ And now all I can think is that my father in law is coming over to tell me my husband doesn’t love me anymore. That he’s been saying he still loves me because it hurts him to see how much he has hurt me and tells me he loves me to make himself feel better or to kind of force the love. Do you think that’s why his dad wants to come over?


(Edited for content by @peaceloveandpaws)