I don't have a loving mother
I'm only realising it now at 29. I have my own children now and it's bringing all my feelings to the surface.
When people talk about going out for drinks with their mum, having fun and chatting. I can't relate.
When people talk about being supported by their mum, getting advice and having a shoulder to cry on. I can't relate.
My mum barely cracked a smile at my graduation and seemed more interested in finding a nice place to have lunch.
My mum kicked me out at 23 because my severe depression was 'bringing down the mood of the house'.
My mum hasn't asked how me or my children, her only grandchildren, have been getting on during this entire pandemic. She lives 15 minutes away.
My mum feels like an acquaintance that doesn't really like me.
I feel like I'm constantly grieving the mother I never had.
It's getting difficult to stay afloat lately, I feel abandoned and betrayed.
All I can do is be the mother I wish I had for my own children. ♥️ They will never feel the way I do right now. I won't allow it.
@bookbathbed
I am sorry to hear that your relationship with your mother hasn't been supportive. It hurts to be dismissed by her and her negative actions, or inactions, as you've described. I think the grief you are describing, plus the anxiety and depression, are valid reactions and feelings to have when your own mother feels like an aquaintence that doesn't like you. I can relate to you and what you are saying. Do you have other family members or close friends who are more supportive of you and your family? Sometimes, the family we choose can be stronger than the family you re born into. I am glad to hear you are breaking the cycle of emotional neglect with your own children. Knowing what you don't want to be is an important lesson when it comes to parenting your own children.
Sounds like your mum and my mum are very much the same. I totally understand your pain. I tried all my life for her to like me and she never did. I have finally gone no contact to protect myself. The only good thing about this is that I tried to parent my kids completely different to her. The love from me she rejected I give them all as extras to my kids. Still the pain is always there, knowing your own mum never liked me and turn my siblings against me too . Try to stay strong.
Thanks everyone. Unfortunately there isn't anyone else in the family on my mum's side that is particularly supportive. Half my siblings have been turned against me, the other two I'm on good terms with but I don't think they've seen or truly come to terms with the way our mum is yet.
My dad is very supportive of me and my little family though, he had his own issues going on though so I don't push. It's good to know he's there though. 💕
@bookbathbed I definitely can relate to you a lot, especially grieving what others seem to have so easily. I too struggle with hearing other people talk about calling their mom every day or going to their mom for help or advice on relationships.