I just need space to breathe
I live with my spouse and what had been our partner. I ended my romantic relationship with this partner, but my spouse continues theirs. That is not my issue, as I am much happier find things easier for myself now. However these 2 others I live with are dealing with depression. The partner, S, is seeking disability due to their brain health. The spouse, D, works 60 hours a week in a place that is toxic, to support us. I am looking for work and being supportive and helpful. But I am drowning under the weight of their depression. Almost no housework happens unless I do it or negotiate action into drips and drabs. Their brains are swirling masses of fear and pain and I *know* that. But I also have my own sick brain. And I have to be a spot of light or else they can't make it through the day. I get no reprieve, no space for myself because I am too worn out in doing what I need to do for them. I can't do anything... I am drowning in their pain... and I have no one here to ask for help.
@joiebrooks913
It can be very difficult to be a caregiver, especially when you may not have been expecting to take on the responsibility to caring for two adults at that same time. There is a term for what you have described your feelings to be; compassion fatigue. It sounds like you have given a lot of yourself to support the ones you love but it is difficult to pour from an empty cup. What are you doing to care for your own needs? What has brought you joy in the past? For some people, taking a walk can be helpful. Other might choose to go to a library or a favorite place to read quietly. Dependng on your area, there may be support groups for caregivers, if that's something you are interested in researching. Taking time to care for yourself isn't selfish. Allowing yourself time to refill your cup benefits you and helps you support your loved ones more effectively.
