Just Me Ranting
This is just to put this out there because I am fricking fed up. I have no idea how, but I getting scolded and yelled at for not doing chores around the house on time. Mind you, I get it done because no one else is getting up and doing it. So, it's not that I don't do chores, make dinner, and watch my siblings because I do. Yet, when I want to take a break or do work so I don't fail all my classes I get yelled at. First problem I have is that I am supposed to feel bad, because I am being asked nicely and I didn't get it done right away. I understand I am the child and you are the parent, but when you neglect your parental roles almost completely and just sit there and do nothing it kind of diminishes a lot respect I have. You will cry and yell about how I have an attitude, but when you have a bad day I am supposed to get down on my knees and tend to your every emotional need. You ask me to do things for you with the excuse of 'I need help around the house'. Meanwhile I don't ask for your help because all I ever get in return is false promises or a long drawn out speech about how you're the parent you shouldn't have to lift a finger in the house. At this point, I should be the parent. I watch my siblings, feed them, care for them, babysit them when you leave, take them to the park, teach them things, and monitor them. I don't ask for anything, love, attention, affection, time, money, none of it! I don't even want it at this point, yet you cling onto me like leech asking for every drop of my soul. I am tired, okay. Your reliance on me is honestly sadistic. Every day it's the same phrase "I need help", do you? If you need help with every single miniscule thing, then how the frick am I still alive? I do everything you do and more with little to none of your help, yet somehow I manage. I may be on the brink of insanity but I'm still alive. For you to be able to wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, and then proceed to sit in your room all day watching some drama show, and then get mad at me because I decided to take a break, it screams hypocrisy to me. You don't watch the kids, and honestly I don't trust you with them alone. You maybe will make dinner, and rarely clean the house and if you do clean you get mad at me because you had to. So, yeah. You're mad because I've become painfully aware of the fact I am your parent. I take care of you when you're sick or sad, but when I'm sick or sad it doesn't matter because things need to get done. If I said half of the things you've said to me I would've been smacked in my mouth or hit with a charging cord, but hey that's the beauty of being a parent. If the kid is young enough you can treat them however you want and they'll accept it as normal behavior and probably even blame themselves for it as they get older. Or you can just emotionally manipulate them into thinking you're the victim and everything you've done is in the past so there's nothing they can do about it now but bury the past and move forward. And lastly, and my favorite love bomb them so they spend their entire life trying to get back the love and affection that was shown to them in the good old days back when they maybe paid attention to what you were doing.👍
@JollyRacher
Sorry, you have to navigate that situation at home, there must be lots of strain regarding your expectations to fulfill parental roles. You're not alone and my support will always be available if you need a shoulder to lean on. Guidance and support can be valuable in helping you navigate through these challenges, and I understand it must be emotionally taxing for you at home. I am open to chatting one-on-one today as well as tomorrow if you are feeling any kind of way and you need support from someone. You are welcome to rant in my direct messages at any hour of the day, and I will be happy to listen. Have a good one.
Wow I felt so understood reading your post. I live in a similar situation. It seems like no matter how much I do, it's never enough. My step mother watches her stupid dramas all day long while I take care of the home. She's allowed to feel down. She's allowed to take a break. But the second I sit down. The second I need a rest. She lashes out on me. In fact she's yelling in the kitchen as I'm writing this. "I do everything at home" she says. Really? You do. Because last time I saw you, you were laying in bed watching dramas. She's toxic, manipulative, and reminds me of my biological mother. Why is she the victim in every situation? Why should I feel obligated listen to her whining words when she refuses to see my point of view? I have never been allowed to feel. Not when my parents were together nor now. When I was younger I had to take care of my sibling too. I had to sneak him snacks because my parents didn't allow us to eat. He lives with that woman now, my so called 'mother' I'd rather not talk about her. I told me friends she's dead. I guess what I wanted to say with my reply is that you're not alone. There are people out there with similar experiences. This reply won't solve your difficulties. But I hope it gives you some kind of comfort. A litte bit of strength.
@autumnbears
First, I'm sorry about what you're going through and I pray that things get better for you. I truly do. Second, I'd just like to thank you for leaving this comment because it does help. There are a lot of people who see my parents as these saints, so when I comment on how much I do around the house people tend to make a joke out of it. Or sometimes even praise it saying that's what kids are for. I even heard one of my parents say I'm the glue that holds the family together jokingly and everyone laughed. That honestly hurt me, because for the youngest in the household to hear that I was keeping the family together just put this humungous weight on my shoulders. When I confide in people it's always well kids are supposed to help the parents or your parents did so much for you. To the point I honestly believed I was just ungrateful. Like I genuinely believed I was in the wrong. That it was my duty as a child to take care of my parents and my siblings. Then, my older sister told me it wasn't and that our family dynamic was wrong and can even be toxic at times. So, reading your comment is actually make me tear up, because I feel understood. It's hard being in that type of environment, and I really hope that one day we'll get out. One day we will be able to live our lives without this weight on our shoulders. To heal our wounds and get the help we need to make ourselves happy. 🙏💖
