Mother and daughter ruined relationship
I'm an only child living with my mom. We've always been really close since it's just the two of us though we've been having fights for these past few years even for petty things. I've discovered recently she had been hiding from me that she has a secret boyfriend though she knows I've always been against it and kept lying to me for months now. There were never secrets between us and this situation makes me feel really betrayed, not only cause she got a boyfriend behind my back but mostly cause she hid it from me. She's denying facts though I already know the truth and showed her proof. She hasn't spoken to me since and won't give me any explanation or apology. I'm the one betrayed and hurt here and for once I want her to try fix things between us and initiate a civil convo with me. What should I do? Please I'm desperate, thanks in advance
Make sure you have taken time to understand her perspective and feelings before sharing yours. It could help lighten the situation if you haven't. Is there any particular reason she would want to hide it from you? I wanted to reply because I saw nobody has, but I am not sure about much of the situation and I don't understand why she would hide it from you in the first place? I know that as a parent it can be emotionally harmful to introduce new lovers into a kid's life if you aren't sure how serious you are in the relationship. I am not sure of your age but that could make a big difference as well. I am sorry you feel lied to or betrayed, however she may just have your best interest in mind. Again, I do not know all of the details, but just a thought
@36thd Hi thanks for your reply! Anyway I'm 21 so definitely not a kid anymore and grown up enough to understand. She may have kept it a secret cause she knew I would disapprove but I'm not selfish or childish, I'd never stand in the way of her happiness. We've been having issues for quite some time but shutting me down completely and not caring about my feelings is too much to handle. She should have at least considered how much it could have affected me, the truth hurts but lies worse, especially when it comes from the least expected ones. It feels like I'm the matured one here trying to understand her and have an honest talk with her but silence and lies are all I get all the time
Oh wow that is very challenging. It seems to be more toxic than I thought originally :/ that is a very hard situation to be in. The best thing I can think to do is make sure to express all of your feelings completely and uncensored. Your thoughts and feelings are valid in every aspect. I hope your mom can grow from this and heal your relationship, but until then make sure you focus on yourself and what makes you happy. You are top priority ! Best wishes to you both 💕
@36thd Thank you for the time you took to reply to me and for your kind words of encouragement, hoping for better times ahead soon
