My mum is giving me anxiety and depression
i love my mum to bits but I can’t deny she is having a negative impact on my mental health. She has depression and anxiety herself and I can’t have a real heart to heart conversation without her about issues to do with her, my husband, kids and in laws. I bring things up lightly and she gets so hurt and backfires all sorts of rubbish from the past, how we don’t do enough for her though she hasn’t asked but she brings up how other daughters support their mums (I’m from a Asian background and so living in a western country she has little support - language barrier, not tech savvy etc), how my hubby is to blame… im having to bottle up everything and feel so lonely. She makes me depressed yet I keep trying to make her happy but it actually is bad for me… yet I won’t let her go…
@Greentrees2325
I hear u green. Its much overwhelming situation for both of u . She's already struggling with some mental health conditions and has her own set of challenges. I appreciate ur concern for her and how much u care for her while u urself are facing much challenges and her depression is rubbing on u. It can surely be draining u out. I hope with family n expert support , things get sorted out for u soon. Best wishes ❤️
Thank you @blissart for your kind and supportive message ❤️ it means a lot… It’s nice to know that someone understands… God bless you 🙏🏻
As @blissArt stated it can be a challenge with your mum having her own mental health challenges and you doing your best to create a healthier communication environment. I do applaud you for not giving up on her and recognizing the negative affects.
Have you considered or are you currently working with a professional therapist? I say this with utmost respect for you because as a former caregiver for my own mom who is no longer here, therapy was one of the best decisions I made for myself and for her. In addition there are so many tools they uncover that can bridge the gap even for your marriage and your children. Healthy mindsets 😊.
Thank you @PeaceB48 for your kind and supportive message ❤️. I’m glad to hear there are others out there who can understand… I’m sorry to hear that you were a caregiver to your mom, I can imagine that must have been difficult 😥, but at least she had you to look after her 💞.
I’ve had short term counselling (it was only 14 weekly sessions on the nhs, as I’m not sure I can afford to pay privately) and that was kind of an eye opener… I realised how much I loved my mum to a point where I was not looking after myself and how my whole life I just wanted to make her happy (but to not much avail) and that I should be taking care of myself… I suppose I should look back into therapy as I’m ashamed of the mother I have become with such a bad temper. There are certain things I need to address and it’s taking a mental toll on me and affecting my temper with the kids… sorry for the long message! Thanks again for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. God bless you 🙏🏻.
my mom is same However I still under her roof. , you are married you can put a limit to her try to tell her hey this brings me anxiety and when u get enough just walk out
Thank you honest for taking the time to reply and sharing your similar experience. It’s hard living with a depressive mum… I think that growing up with my mum has definitely made me the person I am, I’m super protective of her as I’ve seen the hurt she has faced in her life. If I look back to to my old self I would probably advise myself and you to not let your mum’s point of view cloud what you think is right. Know that she has depression and that it affectsher ability to see things clearly and takes things she says with a pinch of salt.Look after yourself!
take care honest. God bless 🙏🏻
