Narcissistic Parents - where to from here?
After years of suffering and on and off researching both my parents and my husband husband have narcissistic tendencies. I love all of them dearly but the last few years have been really tough with my husband not getting along with my Mother. Unfortunately this cannot be resolved as proven yet again today with my mother throwing a full blown tantrum (this is a personal attack, how could you do this to me, you have broken my heart, excessive wailing/crying/sobbing etc etc) and my father dismissing any of my feelings or thoughts when trying to discuss the issue and the impact that it’s having on me, my relationship and now also my children.
So my question is… what would you do in this situation? Is it going to be possible to continue to have some kind of contact with my parents or do I just grieve the loss of hope for a healthy relationship and move on with my life and try to provide s better environment for my children to grow up in?
I feel so guilty and I believe there will be severe consequences for even minimizing contact with my parents (such as potential for my mother to self harm or for both of them to completely turn on us and ostracize us from the rest of the family etc).
I guess I am at a point where I feel like I cannot continue dealing with this. I feel trapped and confused and pretty crazy a lot of the time with all the gaslighting etc that goes on.
Where do I go from here?!
[Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to remove stigmatizing content]
Saying bye is hard for some..
As an adult do what's best for you and the kids.
@lovingOcean6782 oh how I feel you. I had dinner with my mother day beforer yesterday and I was out of commision for two days with anxiety. For the most part, I just try to keep my distance with my mother. She is sad that she doesn't get to see her grandkids (17 and 20) because frankly she hasn't been all that wonderful to them (but way nicer than I ever witnessed). It is stressful, but it is what it is. We are all just trying to do the best we can. We still meet up for all the big events like Christmas and Thanksgiving...
Thank you for your reply. I was really sorry to hear that your mother causes you significant grief and stress too - it does however help to hear that you’re still managing to deal with the big calendar events of the year as a family, I think this is probably a good place for us to start. Minimising all contact except for important family events.