Please Help

Hi. I don't know where else to go to ask for advice.

This will be a very lengthy post, so thanks in advance if anyone does end up reading this.

I am an 18 year old recent high school graduate. In the past, I have had a pretty rocky relationship with my parents, my mother in particular. I grew up listening to my parents verbally fight for the majority of my young life. These fights would differ in their substance, but would usually end in my mother saying extremely violent and hurtful things to my father in earshot of me and my younger siblings. She has threatened the life of my father and my siblings on multiple occasions, but she has never seriously attempted to harm any of us so my family pretends like these threats have not occurred. In the past few years, these fights have thankfully become few and far between as my mother finally began to take medication.

I am still affected by the things I heard my mother say though. I began to attend therapy for panic attacks related to these occurrences and I started using SSRIs, which I have been on since age 13. My mother refuses to acknowledge the fact that she traumatized me, and my father does not really take my trauma seriously either. My mother frequently complains about paying for therapy for me so my various mental health issues are obviously a burden for her. I am including this as a bit of background information so where I am coming from will hopefully make more sense.

About 2 years ago I began dating the first and only boyfriend I have ever had. We have had our ups and downs but we do deeply care for each other, and I plan to try to continue our relationship even into college. He's got a great plan for his future, as he's a member of the national guard.

My family hates him though. They have always been quite strict with what they allow me to do with him, and leave little to no room for discussion about our time together. This has led to some deception of my parents on what we are doing, where we are, etc. My parents found out we had been lying, and now they are convinced that my boyfriend is a deceptive, evil person that only wants me for sex. (Which could not be farther from the case)

My boyfriend is leaving for basic training and AIT in 2 days. He will be gone for 7 months, so this past week we decided to try to plan a 1 day camping trip so we could spend some time together before he leaves.

My parents both told me that going on this trip was ridiculous, and they told me that if I decided to go, they would no longer pay the portion of my college tuition that they had promised to cover.

In the beginning, my parents told me they would be happy to assist me with my college education. My dad, who is the closest thing I have to an advocate, promised me that if I found a college that I loved, he would help with any fees not covered by scholarships. I ended up falling in love with a small but pricey liberal arts school. This place offered me a good amount of scholarship money to play clarinet at their institution, which required a lengthy audition process. I also earned the largest academic scholarship that this school offers. This didn't cover everything though, and even though 70% of my tuition would be covered by scholarship, I still needed about 16k per year even after I planned to personally take out federal loans. My dad, being VP of a pretty notable medical corporation, told me that he could help and I committed to this college that I loved.

The tuition began to be something both parents held over my head, with them constantly guilt tripping me about the money they told me they would have no trouble paying. This camping trip ended up being the "make or break" for some reason. I did end up going, because I care about my boyfriend and I am used to empty threats from my parents. That was probably stupid of me and the outcome is worse than I predicted.

My dad is out of town, and my mother is the only one here with me and my siblings. After I came back from my trip, she disconnected my cell phone from our provider, took my keys and told me she was selling my car, and contacted my college. She is threatening to kick me out of the house, but she refuses to let me call anyone to come pick me up.

I am scared for my future. I know I made a bad decision, but I didn't think this would be the outcome. I'm prepared to take out private loans for college even if it means debt for me, but in terms of a place to stay and ways to make money I feel clueless. Without a car I can't get to my job. None of my friends or family members are willing to help me out with this and my boyfriend leaves tomorrow. All the while my mother continues to call me a sl*t and tell me how worthless and disgusting I am. I don't know where to go or what to do, I feel so trapped in this situation.

I know this post is all over the place but If anyone has any advice I would seriously appreciate it.