Teens: Coping with Being Unwanted, Unloved and Unhappy

Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. ~ Childhood rhyme Whoever made up that rhyme is just plain wrong.

Sadly, there’s probably not a thing they can do to make loving parents out of angry and inadequate adults. Their parents are too caught up in their personal pain or too unloved themselves to comfort and nurture their kids.

constantly thinking about the unfairness will only keep you stuck and hurting. A better use of the energy that is born of anger and disappointment is to use it to fuel efforts to move on. The teen years do not last forever and there is much you can do to set yourself up for a promising future.

Author, Marie Hartwell-Walker, offers the following tips for coping

Don’t add self-abuse to your parents’ abuse. Although hurting yourself may provide a temporary distraction or relief, it won’t make your life better. Not loving yourself won’t help you find love.

Prepare for independence. Make a list of what you need to know how to do, from doing your own laundry to managing money, and set out to learn how to do it. Get a job and start putting money away to prepare for the future. Ask your school counselor to help you identify scholarships if your plans include going away to college.

Develop a life outside of your home. When home isn’t a place you want to go home to, it’s essential to find other places where you feel safe, supported, and seen for who you are. Join up with an organization, team or cause or get an evening and weekend job where you can hang out, where you can make a contribution, and where you can find friends and adult mentors who appreciate you.

(Source: https://psychcentral.com/lib/teens-coping-with-being-unwanted-unloved-and-unhappy#4)

What are some health coping skills are you using to care for yourself?