Unworthy and disposable
Feeling like I’m easy to throw away. No on ever works towards a relationship with me. I have to constantly be careful not to upset someone becau they will just discard me from their life cause I’m not worth any level of discomfort. I often have to apologize even when someone treats me wrong so that they don’t drop me out of their like like I’m a dirty napkin being thrown out the window. My son amd my sited tossed me out of their life like a wet bandaid. No pain and easy as pie! My feelings annoy my partner more often then not and I just feel like my feelings hold no value to anyone. They r an inconvenience I’m am finally done feeling like I care to be heard shutting down, numbness setting in.....
@optimisticApple4082 I hear you - I feel the same way alot. You try to keep everyone happy - because if you don't they leave. It's really hard if it's family - that's like supposed to be your safe haven. The one place you can truly belong but often it's family that cuts you the deepest because it all seems one sided. You love them and will do anything but they don't seem to feel the same way
You are worthy and deserving of love - respect and understanding - even if those closest to you aren't the ones that give it
It's ok to want to be heard and seen - I think it's something we all want :)
I can relate to you a lot. I find it hard to be in a romantic relationship because of my past. I have been cheated on by one, physically and mentally abused by one, and the last one left me with HIV that i can never run away from for the rest of my life. At one point i gave up and wanted to end everything because of my diagnosis. I cannot share it with my friends because they know me as the strongest and smartest and i feel afraid that if i show any sign of weakness they would judge me. I always cry alone. I have finally found a person with whom i got the courage to tell my story and he said he didn't mind it. But now I seem to be jeopardising our relationship because of my constant over thinking. When i feel like i wanted to ask if he is seeing someone else, he would get offended and i am always the one apologising in the end. I don't know if it is my intuition talking to me or my past trauma messing up with me but i just love this guy so much and i don't think i can ever find someone who will accept me for my current situation.
