toxic household
i’m 18. aspiring to be a nurse. would say i’m an extrovert. compassionate, kind and loving (too much i’d say).
parents divorced when i was younger (5yr/o) never bothered me.
currently living with my grandparents & uncle (mums side). mum moved out recently with step dad to look after my half-siblings. still in contact with dad, he doesn’t live far. however i refuse to move with him as it would cause issues between both sides of the family. great relationship with uncle, like a brother to me, however picks and choses when to take my side or mums side (when in most cases all the arguments are her fault)
from young, mum has been on and off. definitely has psychological issues that need to be addressed & worked through but she doesn’t believe in seeking therapy.
i may sound biased, but she is extremely toxic and a narcissist.
she is manipulative, condescending & a hypocrite.
here’s an example of a text she sent me.
“I think you need to go and get therapy to combat the sense of entitlement you feel those around you owe you apparently… My mistake is reacting to your abuse and saying a few hurtful words but I did not mean them… Do the right thing and don't be aggressive to the hands that grew you up and fed you. If you don't respect the women that gave you life you have no respect for yourself.”
earlier, we had an argument, she spat nasty words which degraded my character & self esteem. out of anger, of course i swore back. im hurt. and i must admit, i too have a bit of a temper.
however it’s all built up. i’ve been verbally & mentally abused.
however, out of love for my family i chose to put it past and try to move on. that’s gotten me no where. i’ve been guilt-tripped. meaning that, i know how much they’ve done for me as a collective & individually, their sacrifices and money spent. hence why i chose to put their deranged flaws past them.
i’ve always wanted to seek help, speak to a therapist and give myself closure that i’m not crazy.
more than happy for anyone to share their thoughts or give some advice.
Firstly can I just say well done on choosing a well rewarding career in life and I hope it all works out for you.
let me say you are not crazy. I’m also guessing you are the eldest sibling too. In a lot of households I notice this a lot. The abuse the hurt and the narcissistic behaviour. None of this is your fault I hope you keep that in mind.
It seems like your mom thinks she is doing right by you but is only pushing you away. Don’t be ashamed to go seek help if it is what you feel you need.
We live once in this life and keeping everyone else happy and brushing things under the carpet is sometimes why we end up here.
Take care 💕💙
@emnats153
Hello! I have to mention that you are super brave for coming out and sharing how you feel. It takes a lot from you to do so and I feel talking about how you feel is one step forward <3 I can tell how concerned you are for you and your mom.
It's never easy managing your own issues while also take care of fights that happen between you and your mom. Nevertheless, it's very important to work things out. I can sense that you care for her and want her to get better and that's truly admirable.
I would suggest family therapy as it really helps family members understand where they stand. Hopefully, your mother is more open to the idea of therapy as it could be beneficial. Despite it all, in case you ever feel the need to contact someone, our listeners here on 7cups are always ready to help <3
I admire your efforts to break the cycle of abuse. I have also been working on the same endeavor. I hsve multiple toxic people in my family who makee feel crazy. You are not crazy. Getting help has been the best decision I evermade.
