discussions at home
Hello! My name is Cristine. I'm nearing the end of high school. I wanted to thank 7 Cup for their hospitality. I've only been here a few days. I'd love to share my experiences and get some ideas. My family's relationship with me has changed over the past year. They impose difficult rules on me. Last year was a difficult transition. I was constantly being watched for my academic performance. However, I mostly did well, partly out of fear of a reaction. But no matter how hard I try, this summer I find myself having to argue with my mom about new rules, and I wasn't anxious about it before. Days go by, and my family isn't helping me the way I'd like. ☹️ I hope to hear from you soon.
@littlePeach9790
Hello Cristine - I’m sorry your family isn't treating you kindly at the moment. Do you think your parents might be scared for your future? Do they listen to the news, and it terrifies them? Or are your parents generally controlling people?
I'm glad you have found 7Cups. There are a lot of caring people here. It is important to get support and perspective, especially when dealing with difficult family situations. You might not be able to change your parents’ behaviors or their rules, but at least know you have reasonable arguments for when you live on your own and have true freedom.
What are some examples of the rules that are now different for you?
Tom
Good luck with everythink
@littlePeach9790 I completely relate to you. Your family should support you in times of need because you’re becoming an adult and you need all the support you get. It’s stressful transitioning and your parents not being there for you isn’t your fault. You’re doing amazing staying focus while struggling with family. You have strength and just remember that.
(This is a repeat message, because it doesn't show up on the app.)
@littlePeach9790
Hello Cristine - I’m sorry your family isn't treating you kindly at the moment. Do you think your parents might be scared for your future? Do they listen to the news, and it terrifies them? Or are your parents generally controlling people?
I'm glad you have found 7Cups. There are a lot of caring people here. It is important to get support and perspective, especially when dealing with difficult family situations. You might not be able to change your parents’ behaviors or their rules, but at least know you have reasonable arguments for when you live on your own and have true freedom.
What are some examples of the rules that are now different for you?
Tom
Hi Tom, thanks for the message.
I think my parents have become controlling.
Why do you say I'll live alone? I don't have that prospect right now.
The rule I can't stand right now is setting a curfew; I don't see the reason.
@littlePeach9790
I’m sorry for the confusion: I was referring to in the future you would live alone … and therefore can make up your own rules.
But yes, for today, maybe you and your parents can find a compromise: If you can show them how you follow their curfew with no problems (for maybe 2 weeks)—then they can agree to extend your curfew a little. And then after another period of time, you and your parents can agree to extend it more.
Oftentimes parents set these rules because they are scared. Unfortunately, they don’t acknowledge they are scared and just expect children to obey. In other situations, parents are just cruel, and there are different ways to handle those types of situations. Hopefully your parents can listen to some reasoning.
This is why I recommend you make a list of your ideas and how you plan to execute them, so your parents can see that you are being serious (instead of arguing and complaining). I also recommend you review your list with people here at 7Cups first, to be sure you are presenting your best possible solution to your parents. (I will be happy to help with this list, but you can ask anyone here.)
I hope this helps.
Hello Tom,
It's been a month since I've followed this rule, but I haven't received any discounts.
Now I feel sad and sometimes angry. Of course, I protest.
Would you please be so kind as to explain this list idea to me? What should I say?
Give me an example. Thanks.
@littlePeach9790
Hi Cristine - In the month that you have followed the curfew rule, did you argue and complain about it?
Hello Tom,
My time is to go out in the evening. It is only related to these holidays. I complained yes...
@littlePeach9790
Do you mean that your parents do not allow you to go out at any time during the evening for the whole week?
If yes, what are 2 or 3 days that you would like to go out? And if you could do this, what time would you like to come home?
No, it's not. I say there's no school now and I have a time to go out in the evening during the week...
@littlePeach9790
What is their reason for this strict curfew? What are they afraid will happen to you, in the night time?
I do not know....😓
@littlePeach9790
Do you think you can a have a calm conversation with them to ask them why (but don't argue or complain). And then post a message here again to say what their answer is?
I can't explain exactly why, but I don't feel like having this conversation; it wouldn't be useful. Anyway, thanks.
I can't explain exactly why, but I don't feel like having this conversation; it wouldn't be useful. Anyway, thanks.
@littlePeach9790
It would be a difficult conversation to have.
If you change your mind, then support is here for you.
Also, your parents might need some more time before they can trust you ... and then they might hopefully change some rules for you.
It is not so. They are very strict and do not change their minds. They are not helping me. 😓
@littlePeach9790
I really am sorry your parents are so strict with their rules. I know there is much support for your well-being here at 7Cups. You have a place here to get some relief when the pressures are too big 💚 🌳
@littlePeach9790
Hi Cristine,
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your experience. It sounds like this past year has been incredibly challenging, especially with the pressure around academics and the changes in your relationship with your family. You're clearly strong and resilient doing well in school even under stress shows a lot of determination.
It’s completely valid to feel frustrated when the support you need isn’t there, especially from those closest to you. Arguing about new rules and feeling watched can make home feel less like a safe space, and I’m really sorry you’re going through that. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed or anxious your feelings matter.
If you ever want to talk more about what’s been happening or explore ways to cope with these changes, I’m here to listen. You deserve kindness, understanding, and a space where you can just be yourself without fear.
Sending you strength and warmth 💙😄
thanks for your words ❤️
