Caged

I care for my mother and grandpa. ive been caring for my mom since i was a little girl, it has been exhausting and i have no time for myself. grandpa is getting worse, mom refuses to put him in a retirement home instead she forces me to take care of him because she cannot do it, she cannot take care of herself. i am exhausted, stressed and don’t know what to do. grandpa fights with us and argues about every little thing. just the other day he asked me to close the garage door which was left open because we needed to get my dog from the groomer, it is easier to leave it open instead of pulling it open and closed every time. he proceeded to scream at me and curse me, then finally again i told him we were going to get my dog from the groomer and he didn’t say anything, mom got in the middle of it and he told her to be quiet. i will not tolerate him treating my mother badly. she’s use to the abuse because grandma treated her really bad but i refuse to let him do the same. he doesn’t have a license but still decides it’s a good idea to drive to the store even though he’s also going blind. he constantly opens the washer and dryer when we’re doing laundry, then pulls our clothes out so he can do his. he digs through the trashcan after we throw stuff away to see what it is. he leaves his bathroom messes just there for me to clean up, which by the way i shouldn’t have to do. i shouldn’t even have to be putting my life on hold to take care of him? i don’t really speak to him much anymore because it’s always an argument, always has to argue about something. i just don’t understand why mom won’t put him in a retirement home. he lies to his doctor and when mom goes to his doctor appointments and tells his doctor what’s going on the doctor will look at grandpa and ask “is that true?” clearly he’s not going to tell her what’s true. i just don’t get it.