Setting boundaries with sibling who has severe OCD and anxiety
Hi there,
I am a caregiver to my brother who has severe OCD and anxiety. I do what I can to help him but he becomes very anxious at times and calls me up to 6 or 8 times a day. I usually don't answer because it's too much and I get very upset. Today I called him back and got the long list of obsessions, auditory hallucinations that he sadly experiences and accusations. When he started yelling I told him that I would end the call. Finally, I did. It depresses me that after 40 years since his diagnosis this is the best it seems to be. I try to focus on the fact that he is in a very good residence, has very good medical care and does have good moments. We sometimes do have fun together :) But, it is sad and depressing at other times. I also feel quite alone since my dear Mom died. We used to talk everything over and support each other. My other siblings and I almost never talk, unfortunately. I am part of a caregiver support group but I need more support. Thank you! ❤️
@lavenderTalker9823 It does sound like a somewhat sad situation, and I hope that during those good moments it makes the rest of it seem more worthwhile. I'm so sorry that you no longer have your mom to rely upon and share those feelings when you start to feel like it's a lot. Take care, and I do hope you connect with some good listeners who can uplift and encolurage you on this journey.
No easy answers. I am also a caregiver to my mentally ill spouse. I would encourage you to find ways to self care in all aspects. We are holistic beings. Include art, music, cuisine, exercise, spiritual and intellectual, etc. Carve out time for these and put up boundaries that don't get crossed.
Good for you that you are pushing back on the phone calls. You are correct in refusing to be yelled at and accused. It is abusive. He is not entitled to abuse you just because he is mentally ill. A little extra grace and tolerance towards him perhaps bit you don't have to take it passed that.