Supporting a Partner with Depression

It’s really tough. I feel like no one understands the pain I go through and the hurt. I try not to pick up the rope to maintain the peace and not pick fights. I try to apologise when I am in the wrong. I try to support him as best I can. But I feel like I have nothing left in the tank and what about my needs? What about support for me? And every time I bring up how I am hurting and his actions or inactions have affected me, he gets upset and thinks that I am unappreciative of how much work he has put in to support me as well. He gets defensive. And I end up having to apologise to keep the peace to try to be the bigger person to not exacerbate the conflict. But I’m getting close to everything I got. And I just don’t think it’s healthy for me to keep doing this. And I know part of it is his depression causing him to do certain things or not do certain things. But sometimes, I not only feel helpless in supporting him, but I also feel helpless in supporting myself. Especially myself. I just feel it’s so unfair sometimes. I try so hard to be patient and support him. And I know that he tries hard to support me. But when I bring up issues that I feel hurt by, he becomes defensive and the cycle of me apologising to keep the peace ends up being an endless cycle. Such that my hurt never gets talked about. And it is building. The hurt and the anger is building. I wish there was some kind of support group or other people I could talk to that have a partner dealing with depression and other personality-related struggles. Anyone have advice on how to go about this? They talk about tips on how to support your partner but I feel like they never talk about how the partner can take of themselves. I just feel alone sometimes and I don’t know if I can keep going in this cycle.