Money & relationships

Alright, first of all: Hope everything makes sense since I don't usually write in english, I'm from Spain.

I feel alone, as I've always felt, and probably will. Sometimes I feel like I can cope with it and just go on with my life, waiting for life to give me the opportunity of meeting the right people, or not. Sometimes I don't get to cope with it. Anyway.

I'm 29. Besides my dad, there's no one really close to me, maybe my aunt. As a consequence of the death by different causes of all of my mother-side family, including my mother, I inherited 10 years ago two and a half properties. The revenues I obtained from selling them has allowed me to study and live without economical worries so far, and since I don't usually spend much I still have enough to acquire a house for myself in the near future, which is something that in my country people don't usually get to pay before their mid-50s. In other words, to this regard, I feel privileged. But.

You see, although I've never made it too much of a deal of it, and I always try to value the people around me for how they truly are, my 'privilege' has always felt kind of like a burden: On the one hand, some good friends of mine did distance from me in the past as they couldn't emphatize with someone who was not sharing their same economical issues. On the other hand, I've sometimes distanced myself from people around me, when feeling that someone was playing me dumb and taking advantage of my "wealth".

As I grow older and more independent, facing some of the challenges of adulthood, I keep feeling harder and harder to avoid that my money interferes in my relationships. People in general, I myself included, tend to turn more materialistic with time. I'm starting to feel like I have to choose either to be completely alone and live a sour and grumpy life, or to accept that many of the people that surround me are going to see me just as a lifejacket, faking their interest.

I'm far from being rich, I still have a poor-paid job, and need to keep it in order to build a career someday (engineering). I also feel like it is my duty to make good use of my money since it was given to me by people who spend their whole lives working to achieve better opportunities.

I don't know, this is messing with me. I would like to live a normal and quiet life, without anyone knowing about my money, and me choosing my relationships and who to support based just on common circumstances or plainly kindness. So far I just keep on feeling lonely.

Thanks! I'll gladly read anyone's comments or advice on this!