Conflicting emotions.

I have been feeling extremely lonely lately. I’ve always been a lonely person growing up due to being shy and never making much friends and the friends that I do make they always end up treating me like a backup friend or I find out they have secret animosity towards me etc. even in my relationships they never seem to work out. I don’t have a loving family or really talk to anyone in my family because they are dysfunctional. I recently moved to a new country far away from anyone I know so now the loneliness has gotten worse. I did manage to meet some cool people but every time we start to get close or hang out more they end up moving away for usually job related reasons or family situations. It seems like I can’t keep anyone in my life, however because of how disappointing and fake people tend to be it makes me not want to friends with anyone or have anyone around me because they usually end up letting me down when I get too close. Idk what to do. Like to be alone but hate being lonely. I feel lost,