Depression

Dealing with depression and having to meet up with life expectations is so hard. It's even worst when those you called your loved one's don't understand, no one understands. How do I explain that depression sometimes doesn't have an origin, I just feel depressed, I can't explain why and because I don't know why, I can't solve it.

So at the end of the day, you just have to suffer it alone because none of your loved ones understand and you don't want to be a burden to anyone so you fake being happy but when you are alone, it's just you and your depressed self crying in the dark.

My parents don't even know I am battling with depression, to them I am that perfect daughter that always does the right thing so I am expected to know how to navigate life, the daughtar that is different(introverted) and was never understood. Sometimes I wish I could tell them I was depressed and in pain and that I hated how they make me feel like I am capable of managing things alone. But I can't really do that, they lowkey contributed my depression. Even though I don't resent them, it still hurts.

I don't even know if what I am writing makes sense, just wanted to get this off my chest, today feels especially really heavy.