Do i talk or not?
A part of me feels like I should talk alot so people can get familiar with me and maybe get a friend or something. But I also feel like I talk to much and people will think that im annoying and dislike me. I want to talk, i want to talk alot, about everything. But when I do talk it feels like most of the time im invisible. I dont know if I should just learn to keep my mouth shut or blabber on until I cant.
@guff05
I'd better blabber, but don't sincerely expect feedback, then sooner or later you'll definitely find your audience or even friends :)
Well the group im in it looks like im the only one talking most of the time
@guff05
And then what decisions do you have to solve your problem?
You don't need to stay quiet just because you think people might get annoyed. Be yourself and talk when you feel comfortable. The right people will listen to you, enjoy your conversations, and give you the same energy back. I think you are a kind person with a beautiful soul, and you deserve friends who appreciate you for who you are. 🤍
I think what helped me, was to realise, all of us are self conscious, just because we don't admit it, we worry about how we are perceived to others, so others in the group could be feeling the same way.
Or waiting for someone to bring up a topic they are animated about. I had different sets of friend groups but although at times, I felt chatty on the inside, I mainly ended up observing.
I guess for the majority, I wasn't really comfy with them..
I really understand what you mean. I think all of us feel this way sometimes, but the best thing we can do is try to share and connect with the right people — people who truly want to listen to us and accept us for who we are. When we are with the right people, we can be ourselves without feeling afraid or judged. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it was really meaningful."
@emotionalHuman4653 Thanks :) I agree, it definitely makes it bearable with the right audience, rare for me but feels good, when I'm heard and understood for being in any mood, not just a positive one, where it feels others are expecting me to perform/entertain..
Instead of allowing me to feel how I'm actually feeling and processing. A lot of people, just aren't in touch at all, so when someone either tells it like it is or says I'm not ok today, they try to shut it down, or say, well I'm positive 24-7.. Despite blah blah..
Which is the last thing you want to hear, also comes off insincere and a lot judgy.....
@scrabbleBrain,
I really understand what you mean. Sometimes people don't need advice or someone to tell them to be positive, they just need someone who listens and accepts their feelings without judging them. We all have difficult days, and it's okay not to be okay all the time.
And I want to tell you something… I felt like I was talking to myself when I read your words, because you are so similar to me. I have been through situations like this too. But, God willing, I decided to set boundaries with anyone who makes me feel less than I am or makes me feel unimportant. I won't go back to treating them the same way as before.
I hope you do the same, because honestly, protecting your peace and respecting yourself is very important. You deserve people who appreciate you and accept you as you are."
@emotionalHuman4653 I'm glad I'm relatable to you and I hope people in your circle respect you :)
Confrontations and boundaries were something I initially struggled with because they were repeatedly ignored or I was guilted about it.
But when I stepped back for clarity sake and to look at the whole situation objectively. The behaviour was just unacceptable, and that's when I started removing people and it felt so good.
People like us, need a reminder that, we deserve better. I'm not perfect, I really try to make others feel lighter, so the same should be returned to me, it's not, but it should be.
For me, a particular dealbreaker, is being ignored. I feel like, the person is taking me for granted, when I have made space for them, despite being busy.
الترجمة:
"أنا سعيدة لأنني أستطيع أن أكون شخصًا تفهمينه وتشعرين أن كلامي يشبهك، وأتمنى أن يحترمك الأشخاص الموجودون في دائرتك :)"
"المواجهات ووضع الحدود كانا شيئًا كنت أعاني منه في البداية، لأنني كنت دائمًا يتم تجاهل حدودي أو كنت أشعر بالذنب عندما أضعها.
لكن عندما ابتعدت قليلًا لأرى الأمور بوضوح وأنظر للموقف بشكل موضوعي، أدركت أن هذا التصرف كان غير مقبول، ومن هنا بدأت أُبعد بعض الأشخاص عن حياتي، وشعرت براحة كبيرة.
الأشخاص مثلنا يحتاجون دائمًا إلى تذكير بأننا نستحق الأفضل. أنا لست شخصًا مثاليًا، لكنني أحاول حقًا أن أجعل الآخرين يشعرون بالراحة والسعادة، لذلك من الطبيعي أن أتلقى نفس الشيء منهم، حتى لو لم يحدث دائمًا.
بالنسبة لي، أكثر شيء يجعلني أنهي العلاقة هو أن يتم تجاهلي. أشعر أن الشخص يعتبر وجودي أمرًا مضمونًا، رغم أنني أخصص له وقتًا حتى وأنا مشغولة."
رد جميل بالإنجليزي:
"I really agree with you. Sometimes we don't realize how much we are accepting from people until we take a step back and look at the situation clearly. Setting boundaries is not being mean or selfish, it's a way of respecting ourselves.
I also believe that the people who truly care about us will not make us feel guilty for having feelings or needing respect. Like you said, we deserve people who appreciate our efforts and give us the same energy we give them.
I'm really happy that you learned to protect your peace, and I hope both of us always remember our worth and never accept less than we deserve 🤍🤎
