Empty..
don't want to be labeled as a sad girl, oa, i look like a crazy person... I don't want to be labeled as a crazy person and a nonchalant almost without any personality, lutang, and unfriendly.
Someone who is introvert with a bad personality hidden in silence with bad temper and then that's also what I thinking about myself too.
My hair is bad very short for a girl idk know anything about femininity, being a girl and dressing as a girl idk about that and I don't want to be a boy or trans.
I'm just confused and maybe i'm not that smart, they probably think I'm an immature person who acts like a child but I want to be a mature person but I'm just not.
I want to act like my age.
I can't have any motivation to go to school I'm very left out, I thought if I try there are gonna change but no nothing changes cause I don't have personality, confidence, and my family gonna hate me more.
I'm wanted to be kind, care about them, have the every words I say could comfort them, but I am friendless.
Idk how a friendship even start as if i live under a rock.
I Don't have personality really and a very boring person too, maybe that's why they think I am hidding my true identity as a very temper person, I'm really struggling to express my true self , that's also when strong emotions shows up I really can't help or control it, I hated that. As if I'm a child when I'm already 16.. I'm also the eldest of my sister.. a failure to be a mature and there support system and the one to guide the right path.. even the concept of loving someone even platonic I cringe abot from before since my family is kinda broken literally no affection and now I don't even know how to love, I care too much that I don't even know if loving someone is even true cause words are fabricated and easily could be a lie, not that I know it since whole of my life I'm alone, I'm surrounded by people but they don't really care about me.. I love myself, I tried developing about who am I and recently got interested in editing, lipsync,journaling, writing, and did not sleep late like before.. I treat myself with more care now but how am I gonna show the world that love and care...I can't express it as if I'm stuck with two giant mountains...
