End of a friendship

Hey, so this may be a long one but please bare with as I need to get it off of my chest.

I have been friends with a woman I used to work with for 6/7 years. We had always had a good, strong friendship, but due to changes in circumstances and our lives going in different directions the past couple of years, our friendship has drifted apart (more so I'm the past few months)

We have very different ways in dealing with friendships. I don't need constant communication from my friends. I can go months without talking to some friends and that's fine because when we do talk or meet up, it's like we were never apart - i have a very busy life, working full time in an intense job and the new venture of bringing up a child with my partner... However, she relies on constant communication, almost like I'm on a timescale to reply. If she feels that someone isn't putting as much effort in as she does, she expresses how she feels and will cut them off straight away. I've seen her do this a number of times in the past to other people.

Recently I've been dealing with my father being extremely ill, and amongst other stuff, I've not been as present as a have been in the past.

Today I have had a message from her, which I was half expecting anyway, saying that she doesn't feel any connection or friendship anymore, and that I don't make effort with her, and I've changed too much since meeting my partner, and that I've turned by back on my friends and that she's expressed multiple times about my lack or communication. Sometimes I will go a few days without replying, then send a decent message when I can. She also does this.

In my response, I agreed with her that I haven't been communicating as much, and I appreciate that she needs more communication in a friendship, so I understand. However, I don't feel I have turned my back on my friends. My life has just gone in a new direction, and I'm prioritising trying to navigate that and its really hard to keep on top of everything with personal issues on top of it, which she is aware of. Nothing bitter in my message, I said I hope things go well for her and she is happy where she is now and take care.

She then responded with a harsh message saying that I haven't been a great friend, that I haven't made any effort recently, that its noticeable because I'm the only friend she has this problem with, and that she would rather be honest than have a 'friend' that isn't really a friend.

Now in the past I have had awful attachment issues. I have worked extremely hard on myself to not let this affect me as much anymore, (partly why i now dont message people as regularly as i would have before) and she knows this. She also knows that cutting me off will trigger that, which is exactly what she's done.

I am absolutely fine with the friendship coming to an end. I think we both knew it was coming. I would have just left it to faze out but she has an obsession with needing to tell people when she's departing basically...

What I'm not fine with is the way it ended.

It's now left me feeling confused and frustrated, questioning my ability to maintain friendships and relations and all round in a meltdown because of the things she has said. In the back of my mind, I know she has a track record of doing this, however, in the forefront is all of the self doubt that I have about myself when someone I care about so much can go from a friend to none existent in a matter of 2 messages.

I'm not asking for a miracle cure on how to deal with the triggers of this, but just some success stories of people that have been in this situation and how you dealt with these feelings moving forward. Please help a girl out! I feel super lost and lonely tonight. And so confused, I'm really trying hard to repress the feeling of worthlessness... all based on one person's feeling towards me. 😔 any coping strategies would be fab please!