I lost her over my stupid mistake

Hi. I’m having a really hard time with something that happened recently.

There was a girl who had become one of my closest friends. We talked a lot, and I cared about her deeply. At one point she blocked me on a private social media account, and I later used an alternate account to view it. I knew I shouldn’t have done that, and when she found out, I admitted it and apologized.

She told me that what I did was invasive, that I crossed a boundary, and that it made her uncomfortable. She said she was stepping away and then removed me from social media. I understand why she’s upset, and I know I made a mistake.

What’s been really hard is that I didn’t just have feelings for her, she was also one of the people I talked to most. Since it happened, I’ve been replaying everything in my head, feeling guilty, sad, and wondering if I permanently ruined the friendship.

I’m trying to respect her wishes by giving her space and not contacting her, but emotionally I’m struggling. Part of me misses her, part of me feels guilty for hurting someone I cared about, and part of me keeps wondering if there’s any way to fix things someday.