I'm not okay

hi, I'm lei, and I'm not okay. I'm having difficulty dealing with my emotions. I have a 2 roommates 1 is my old friend. ( let's name her lyn) and the other roommate is ( Ira ). Lyn and I were really good friend since high school, and now we're currently a 2nd year college student. We only met Ira last year, she's kinda good but not really, she is a type of person that will only be by your side if it's convenient for her. Lyn and I sometimes hate Ira because of her attitude, but what I don't really get is Lyn is always ranting at me about Ira but when I confronted Ira about the problem so we can fix it Lyn is always so quiet, she's like playing it safe, she don't wanna be drag about it so in the end it's only me arguing with Ira.. These past few days there have been a problem in my dorm, I don't wanna name it, but Lyn rant it to me, she's like saying things about Ira and so. I didn't confront Ira about it, I just stayed silent because I know I'll be the rudest person if it talk it out. But lately Lyn and Ira were like really close to the point that Ira are distancing herself from me, now that feeling left out, I just ignored them.. This was always our problem since 1st year.. Lyn knows about it, I think she's so insensitive. Spending 2 years with them I experience walking at the back of them like when we're just strolling on the streets, Ira didn't even ask my opinion about the other things such as the name of the movie, her clothes, her things, as if she really don't want my opinion. Lyn is person who shared post things on *** about friendship so-so then contacting some of our old friend if she feels like I'm mad at her. The funny thing is O couldn't shared a post about me feeling that I had no one because I think about her feelings. That was really *** up. I always remember some days that when Lyn and Ira are ignoring my presence or not including me in their conversation. I remember when we we're walking to go to school, and I stop because I'm tying my lace they didn't even stop walking they didn't even look back at me, I'm really disspointed on Lyn. I'm really really totally dumbfounded by the fact that she knew me better than anyone, better than Ira. They're laughing, talking and chatting with me there but it was like they're ignoring me. I don't know , it's really overwhelming to the point that I hallucinate things, I also like imagining things and hearing them talking behind my back, I'm always anxious, so sad and lonely.